Happy Birthday 315 days early or 50 days late
and on a very fast boat...
with a fabulous person...
drank some fabulous wine...
got a fabulous gift...
which is something I never thought I'd own...
It was a great day to be alive.
The adventures of a gainfully employed, divorced, 50 year old, vegetarian, twin, Jackson Browne loving, two time breast cancer surviviving, step mother, who is probably going to wind up being the crazy lady in the mobile home park who knits matching sweaters and tams for her herd of cats.
Last Friday when I got home I had two unexpected guests sitting out in front of my house. I always welcome guests to my humble home but I couldn't get these two to come inside. Go Figure.
I got up early Saturday morning and drove to Tori's house in Riverside. I had a date with Paul to attend his "Best Buddies" movie day suarez. He and I were supposed to meet the rest of his "Project Team" mates at the "Project Team" site. The Buddies were scheduled to pick up the students and take them to the location of the party. I figured Paul and I would follow the caravan to the venue and I couldn't have been any more wrong. The instant we got to "Project Team" Paul was out of my car. I thought he just wanted to greet his friends but no, he wanted to ride with one of the Buddies. One of Paul's friends asked if I was Paul's mom and Paul said no. When their conversation about me was over, Paul's friend walked away with this knowledge: I live in my car, I do my laundry every day and that is why I keep it in my car, I couldn't give friend a ride because there was no room in the back seat because of my laundry and I have two cats. This conversation was very matter of fact and simply taken for the gospel truth. No questions asked.
While Paul was busy giving the Buddy his card I helped one of Paul's friends, Richard,(the one who was under the impression that I lived in my car.) make a card for his friend. I picked out the letters and gave them to him and he layed them out on a piece of paper. He wanted it to look like a card but he couldn't figure out how to fold the paper in half and he asked me to do it for him. Once again he set the letters on the paper and then he told me that I didn't give him the right letters. His friend was named Jessica. How many different ways was there to spell Jessica? I thought he was telling me he needed a "C" and I told him that I gave him a "C". "NO", he said, "a "V!" I told him that there was no "V" in Jessica but I found a "V" and gave it to him. He took the offending "C" out and spelled "Jessiva". I will forever wonder if the girl was actually named "Jessiva" or if that is what he thought her name was.
When it came time to leave Richard asked me if he could have a ride home. While I have no problem giving him a ride home I am in awe of the parent who lets her retarded son go places without securing a ride home in advance. As we pulled out of the parking lot of the apartments Richard told me that he had a cousin who lived around there. He gave it a minute of thought and said, "You can drop me off at my cousin's house." I asked him if his cousin was going to take him home or if his mom would come and get him. Then while he was thinking about that I asked him if he knew where his cousin lived. "No.", he said. "THAT will slow you down. Why don't I just take you all the way home?"
I didn't really know where I was but I figured that I would just point the car in what I believed to be the way home and hope for the best. As I was driving down the street I saw the freeway and figured that I was home free. I jumped on the freeway and all hell broke lose in the car. "YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY! NOW WE'RE LOST." "I'M SCARED. NOW WE'LL NEVER GET HOME!" "WHY DID YOU GET ON THE FREEWAY?" Yikes! Apparently I made a huge mistake. I asked both of them what they were talking about and they both agreed that I didn't need to get on the freeway and even if I did I was going the wrong way. Now what they were saying went against everything I felt at the time. So now what do I do? Do I continue on in what I think is the proper direction or do I trust 2 non driving handicapped man/children to tell me how it's done? In an effort to not have another panic-alooza I went the direction they told me to and before I knew it we were in the correct neighborhood and Richard's house was on the horizon.
This Sunday I was suffering from lack of breathing ability due to a cold or allergies or the scurvy...who knows, and apparently I wasn't providing enough fun and stimulation for the terrorists so as usual they were forced to entertain each other.
Hey, did any of you see that odd ball dressed in 4 different shades of black, with white cat hair all over her clothes, wearing a pink baseball cap with a breast cancer ribbon on it, with her iPod plugged in to her ears, laughing all by herself until she had tears in her eyes, walking on the Huntington Beach Pier?