Another adventure with Paul..

This post is written about the adventure I had with my nephew, Paul, last weekend.
This is Paul:

He is 24 years old and we call him "The Mayor" because he never meets a stranger. He was diagnosed as "slightly mentally retarded with autistic tendencies compounded by extreme ADHD". I have written about him before..as a matter of fact he was the subject of my very first blog post...

Anyway...

While Tori was away in Hawaii last week I spent the weekend at her house so that the house sitter could have a break. I got there late on Friday night. I told Paul that he needed to take care of the multitude of dirty dishes that were languishing in the sink. (Of course the dishes were all Andrews but I knew full well he wasn’t going to do anything about them.) Paul went in to the kitchen and looked around then came back out and told me that the dishwasher was empty and thus his work was done. I told him that I wanted him to LOAD the dish washer. This skeeved Paul to the core of his very being because Andrew had left spaghetti dishes and it was quite a mess. I told Paul to do his best. This took about 5 reminders...Paul was in an out of the kitchen 100 times and then Paul said he was finished. I went in to the kitchen to discover that Paul had rinsed most everything off but he hadn’t put anything in the dishwasher. I figured that 50% was better than nothing so I loaded up the dish washer and turned it on then I went to bed.

I got up early the next morning because I couldn’t sleep in that sarcophagus my sister calls a bed and I collected about 100,, well maybe it was more like 5, soda cans and dirty dishes from the living room. If I didn’t know better I would have thought that Paul and Andrew had thrown a party during the night. I tidied up the bonus room and living room and then fed and watered 2 bearded dragons, 1 baby leopard gecko, 1 African Grey parrot, 2 cats and 2 ferrets. The dragon’s water was so putrid that I just about gagged. Why, oh why, does anyone have reptiles as pets?

I sent Bek a text telling her that I wanted to go to San Juan Capistrano to see blog writing superstar, “Crazy Aunt Purl”. Her second book had just been published and she was going to be doing a reading and meet & greet. Bek texted back and she said she’d come home and sit with the boys. I don’t know if she thought that Andrew needed a babysitter or if she just simply forgot that Jake was gone but I was shocked that she would even volunteer to stay home with the boys. I told her that I had wanted her to go, too, and we could have a photography field trip.

Paul was feeling kind of superior that he got to go on the road trip with us. I could tell this because he was almost silent most of the way. I think it was a big deal for him to get to ride in the Jag especially with Bek behind the wheel. I had Bek look up directions on Mapquest.com and I wrote them down. Sadly, she followed my directions the same way I follow directions given to me on a GPS. (Just in case you don’t remember…ask Mother how many times we wound up in the same stupid vacant lot on our last trip to Hawaii..) The map said to take the toll roads which made for a lovely drive. There was hardly another car on the road and the scenery was beautiful.. The first toll cost around $2.00 and there was a friendly person in the booth to take our money. We only went a few miles on that road before we were supposed to take an exit and Rebek exited 1 road before we were supposed to and of course there was no way to turn around and go back so we just kept on driving. The signs said that we were going to have to pay another toll so we decided that we’d ask the toll person where the heck we were and how to get back to where we needed to be. Lo and behold this toll booth was automated and unattended. Of course we thought this was very funny. We asked the machine for directions and the machine just would not answer us!! We paid the toll and Bek drove onward. We took the first exit from the toll road and it dumped us in to the middle of Tustin. (For anyone who is reading this who is not familiar with California…starting from the city of Riverside on the way to San Juan Capistrano…Tustin is completely out of the way.) It took us several miles before we found a gas station where we could go in and get directions to the 5 freeway and as if just to make us look even more stupid…the on ramp was just on the other side of the gas station. Once we got to the 5 and went a few miles we realized that if we had stayed on the toll road that we had gotten on to mistakenly…we still would have wound up on the 5. We. Are. Idiots.

It didn’t take any time at all to get to Capistrano but it took us almost 30 minutes to find a place to park. The library is right next door to the mission and since it was such a beautiful spring day there were a million people visiting the mission and it appeared as though every one of them each brought their own car.. We got lucky and found a spot at an adult school. We decided that if we were questioned about why we parked at the school we would lie and tell the parking police that we had enrolled in a class for remedial map reading!

When we got in to the library I’m sure Paul heard the angels sing. A room full of friendly women and a table FULL of cookies, cake, cupcakes, carrots, tomatoes, barcly, (that’s what Paul calls broccoli), dip, coffee, decaf, tea and water. I found a seat and saved the one next to me for Paul but of course he didn’t want to sit next to me. He had to sit in his own aisle behind me. Ok, fine. Laurie, “Crazy Aunt Purl, was out talking to people in the audience and when she made it down to my area I was so excited. I stood up and started talking to her and she was as cute, sweet and gracious as she could be. Paul was immediately up in her grill with dip and cookie crumbs all over his. I’ve never been so proud.

Bek took a couple of pictures of me and Laurie and then the nice woman sitting next to me took pics of me, Laurie and Bek. We had to take several shots because each time one of us had our eyes closed. I think Laurie and I were cut from the same cloth. (and yes, I do think it's a good idea to stop putting make up on half of your lower throat area, why do you ask?)


Laurie moved on to talk to other people and Paul engaged the lady sitting next to me in conversation. After about a minute I told Paul that he needed to be quiet and take his seat and the lady said that it was A Ok and that she was enjoying the conversation. I took that opportunity to go plug in my camera battery in so that I would be able to take more pictures later in the day. When I came back from finding a plug I saw Paul was playing paparazzi with his game box. It is so amazing how children, even man-children learn what they live. He likes to take the photographers stance of putting one foot out in front of the other and then he bends his front leg sort of like a semi lunge, and then snaps a picture. He is always very proud of the shot he gets and it doesn’t matter to him if it looks like his subject was jumping up and down.

Laurie was ready to start her reading and Paul went and barreled over a handful of unsuspecting ladies who were innocently standing at the dessert table. He didn’t really hurt anyone but I’m sure they were wondering what this obviously starving young man was doing at a book signing. Bek left the room and sat outside in the sun and read her book. Paul was talking to the woman at the table…I’m sorry to say that he wasn’t apologizing to them for mowing them over…I think he was discussing the pros and cons of decaf vs. regular and I think he also let them in on the little secret that he was going to have iced tea on his next round at the table. I could hear most of this from my seat so I turned around and gave Paul the death stare. He brought his 5 course dessert meal to his seat and sat down.

Laurie started her talk by introducing herself while Paul is sitting behind me giving a blow by blow commentary to everyone and no one regarding everything he was eating. I turned around and gave him another death stare.

“SORRY AUNTIE.” (‘just stop talking’. ) “BUT I SAID I’M SORRY AUNTIE!” (death stare.) “Grunt”. (death stare.)

A couple of minutes go by….BURP!!! (death stare.) “SORRY AUNTIE I BURPED!” (death stare, jut jaw and close eyes as I turn away.)

Another couple of minutes go by..”SLLLUUURRRRRRRPPPPPPPP!” (ignore, ignore)

“MMMMMM-ahhhhhhhhh, SSSLLLUUUURPPPPP!!” (‘knock it off right now or you are going to sit outside.’)

“MY TEA WAS GOOD, AUNTIE!!!” (‘stop TALKING!’) “BUT AUNTIE…MY TEA WAS GOOD!”

CRUNCH! CRUNCH! CHEW. CHEW. “HEY AUNTIE, DO YOU WANT SOME SALARY?” (‘noIdon’twantcelery! be. quiet!’)

This onomatopoeia fest continued throughout Laurie’s presentation. I didn’t take him outside because I knew that he wouldn’t have gone willingly and it would have created an even bigger scene.

As Laurie read her book the crowd laughed and Paul guffawed. I’m certain that there wasn’t a thing she said that he understood but this is one boy who knows his laughing ques. When she was done with the reading she did a Q & A and this was Paul’s opportunity to get another plate of snacks. I’m actually glad that he was distracted because I had visions of him raising his hand, getting called on and then asking to Laurie if she wanted some salary or barcly.

After the Q & A a line formed so that she could sign books and I just stayed in my seat waiting for the line to dissipate. Of course Paul wanted to leave as he always thinks there is something better to do. I explained to him that it wasn’t over and we would leave as soon as I was finished. The lady sitting next to me engaged Paul in conversation again and she was being so kind to him. She told me that her name was Connie and she was from San Diego.

I left Paul with her while I bought my book and had Laurie sign it. When I came back to Paul the kind lady’s husband was there and he was talking to Paul, too. As they left she gave me her card and asked me the name of my blog. She didn’t even write it down so I didn’t figure I’d ever hear from her so how shocked do you think I was when she wrote me a letter the very next day telling me how much she enjoyed my blog and how nice it was to meet Paul!

Connie and Laurie


I hope that Paul and I have made a new lifelong friend. It is very, very rare that people want to befriend this ever innocent man child and I want to take this opportunity to thank Connie from the bottom of my heart for going out of her way to be so kind to Paul. And I will apologize in advance for the first time Paul uses her shirt to wipe off his mouth.

Love is in the air

For those of you just joining our story...Paul is my nephew. He is 22 years old and he is "slightly mentally retarded with autistic tendencies compounded with extreme ADHD". He functions on the mental level of an 8 year old. Our family wants him to have as normal as a life as possible which is hard when the 8 year old is trapped in a 6 foot tall, 200 pound body. Thank God there are programs in these United States that help people in similar situations as Paul to experience as much as they can. His current group is called "Project Team". They teach handicapped teenagers and young adults to become responsible members of society by learning job skills and social skills. Paul can't wait to wake up every morning so he can catch the bus and go to work. The students get to work in different settings at different places. I think I've mentioned Paul's love for washing dishes at Riverside City College because he gets to use the huge kitchen hose that hangs from the ceiling over the big sink. But it doesn't matter where he works...he loves having a place to go and he really loves getting his pay check. He makes sub minimum wage but to him it's all the money in the world.

"Project Team" is also involved in the Special Olympics. Today they played soccer, but apparently that wasn't the only game going on.....


The handsome Mr. Paul is in a love triangle....


Here he is at the Special Olympics soccer game today.

This is ex-girl friend Erica, she dumped Paul for Andy, who had a truck:



This little filly is Jessica, who is supposedly Paul's current girlfriend:



Paul's teacher told my sister, Tori, (Paul's mom),that Erica and Jessica got into a shoving match over Paul at the workshop last week! Apparently Erica now wants Paul back because she doesn't want Jessica to have him! Erica made sure to give Tori her phone number today so Paul could take her out to dinner next week. Notice that it's Erica who has her arm around Mr. Paul.


Paul just wants to play soccer with his team!

Notice Erica is coming in for the kill...

No ball will get past this fort Knox security demonstrated by *Pele Pendell!
(*google famous soccer player "Pele" if you don't know to whom I am referring.)



Project Team scores and goes undefeated for the day!


I hope Paul is as lucky in love as he is on the soccer field.

Something to look at while I continue to work on my post about Hawaii

Portrait of a Weenie

Tori took this picture of Jake. He has just spent a life time, or 15 minutes, watching his big brother, Andrew, get his picture taken at a photo studio. Previous to taking this picture he and Paul were playing with the baby toy in the studio lobby. (note of explanation to those who might not have their score card handy: Jake is 4, Paul is 21 and mentally handicapped.)

Another family came in and their little girl wanted to play with the toy, too. It took Tori and I over 5 minutes to convince Paul to get out of the chair so that a real baby could play with the baby toy. Knowing that these particular toys are some of Pauls very favorite toys in the world I bribed him with everything I could think of but it was all to no avail. (food, candy, soda, "I'll tell you a secret", 5 minutes in a video store, another toy, "BECAUSE I SAID SO", etc.) Tori finally whispered something in his ear and he reluctanly got out of the chair so the little girl could play with the toy. (I have no idea what Tori bribed him with but I was actually a little bit relieved to find that he wasn't the one driving the car when we left the mall.)

Tori and I were deep in thought and discussion trying to pick the best picture of Andrew when a certain squeeky voice caught my ear. I turned around and discovered Jake giving the mother of the little girl a tongue lashing because she got his big brother in trouble and now he couldn't play with the toy. I. Couldn't. Believe. My. Ears. I jumped off of my stool and said, "JAKEY!"

This got Tori's attention and she heard what Jake was saying and she, too, jumped off of her stool. We both dove for Jake while trying to tell him that the lady was innocent of all charges but that just made him talk louder and faster. "And we were playing the game and you came in and..." "JAKEY!!! STOP TALKING!" I thought Tori was embarassed enough when Paul wouldn't relinquish the seat but this event bested the previous award winning moment. We wrestled Jake over to our table all the while trying everything short of stuffing a sock in his mouth to get him to stop talking.

We are very fortunate that the mother was very friendly and actually seemed to be amused by being told off by an angry 4 year old. She kept smiling at us and telling us that it was ok...but I promise you...the next time I go to the mall I'm going to bring the duct tape.

Note: The spell check on Blogger is not working so if there are spelling and punctuation errors it's their fault, not mine.

Dress Up Swan Song

I'm sorry to announce that this will probably be the very last installment of "Dress Up" pictures that will include Jake. I'm sure you can look at the pictures and figure out why.

Memorial Day Weekend part 2

Saturday I had breakfast in Laguna with cousins Billie & Bruce and then I headed off to Riverside with about 1 million of my closest friends. It took me 2 hours to get there. If I didn't have visions of my Jake and Paul sitting at the door step waiting for me with baited breath I would have turned around and went home.

When I got there Paul was dressed and ready to go. No matter that his shirt was buttoned cockeyed and I suspect he slept in his pants...he was ready to go! Jake was running around in his underwear and boy was he proud of said underwear. They were blue jockey shorts, "jus' like Pauls!"

I got Paul's shirt buttoned properly, got Jake dressed and we headed off to the mall for the fun filled day of playing dress up and getting turned down for everything you ask for. It slays me that they like this game. Most boys don't like to play dress up but apparently I've taught them well. So with out any further ado...here is Paul in the outfit he picked out:


This is the happiest picture I've seen of Paul in a long time. He struck a careless pose and wasn't able to think about giving me a camera smile. He looked so handsome in this shirt that I would have loved to have bought it for him but alas...I don't spend $50.00 on shirts for myself...thus I am not spending $50.00 on a shirt for him when I know he'd be just as happy with a Slurpy.

Jake was a total weenie during Paul's fashion show. Of course Paul didn't want Jake or me in his "hotel", (dressing room), so there was a lot of loud talking through the door. I have not been able to explain to Paul that stores do not like for people to photograph their merchandise prior to purchase. I don't know how many times I had to try to shush Paul when he was saying in his booming voice, "HEY AUNTIE, COME IN HERE AND TAKE ANOTHER PICTURE OF ME!" I guess I should be happy that he never said, "Hey Auntie, come in here and take a picture of me in my underwear!"

After Paul's fashion show we moved on to the little boys section. I wrangled both of them in to the dressing room. I was weary of letting everyone in the store know what we were doing thanks to Foghorn Leghorn, uh, er, Paul's booming voice. Did I say Paul? I should have said "Trigger". For some reason Paul had morphed in to a neighing horse and was galloping around the dressing room. For anyone who doesn't know Paul personally...he is 6 feet tall and weighs 200 pounds. Nothing like having a handicapped Clydesdale in the dressing room with you. Jake thought this was great fun and I almost aborted our dress up game, but after seeing this next picture you will be glad that I didn't. Ladies and gents, (like I have even one "gent" reading this blog...) I present to you the cutest 3 year old in the entire creation of all man kind:

Party time for Paul

I got up early Saturday morning and drove to Tori's house in Riverside. I had a date with Paul to attend his "Best Buddies" movie day suarez. He and I were supposed to meet the rest of his "Project Team" mates at the "Project Team" site. The Buddies were scheduled to pick up the students and take them to the location of the party. I figured Paul and I would follow the caravan to the venue and I couldn't have been any more wrong. The instant we got to "Project Team" Paul was out of my car. I thought he just wanted to greet his friends but no, he wanted to ride with one of the Buddies. One of Paul's friends asked if I was Paul's mom and Paul said no. When their conversation about me was over, Paul's friend walked away with this knowledge: I live in my car, I do my laundry every day and that is why I keep it in my car, I couldn't give friend a ride because there was no room in the back seat because of my laundry and I have two cats. This conversation was very matter of fact and simply taken for the gospel truth. No questions asked.

There was enough room for all of the student in the Buddies cars and that made them all very happy. I followed the Buddy to the dorms of UC Riverside. I was starting to panic over the idea of 15 handicapped young adults and 3 Buddies and me all in one dorm room so I was happy to discover that this was actually "off campus" housing and it was a 2 bedroom suite with a living room large enough to accommodate everyone. The students were all very nice and couldn't have been happier about getting to go to someones apartment on a Saturday afternoon and "par.....taaaaay." Most of the students brought snacks so there was plenty of junk to eat. Paul brought 3 bags of microwave popcorn that was burned up in the microwave. Not to worry because that didn't stop them from eating it.

We were supposed to watch the cartoon "Happy Feet" but for some reason that DVD didn't work. The students were all very full of suggestions on how to make it work but the Buddy decided that it would just be better if they watched "Chicken Little" instead. The young man who was sitting next to me asked me approximately 10 times if we were going to watch "Chicken Lego".

I tried to explain to him that it was "Chicken LITTLE" as I didn't want him to be disappointed when the cartoon started and there was no mention of Legos, but no matter how many times I enunciated "LiTTle"...he insisted that it was "LEGO". Ok, "Chicken LEGO" it is.



We watched the movie and they all laughed and laughed. Paul had a good time "inventing" a new snack: burned popcorn, nacho cheese Doritos and potato chips. He loved it and they all ate it. At one point I caught him eating a cookie sandwich. (3 cookies piled on top of each other. There was no actual bread involved.)

Some students had a little more fun than others. I caught two of them sitting in a corner MAKING OUT. With their tongues!




Ack! Paul is by far the most capable one of their group and I've never heard of him making any attempt at such a thing so I was completely bamboozled when I saw the smooch-fest going on. I tilted my head and stared at them with my eyebrow raised. This look usually causes people to stop whatever it is they are doing and confront me. Not these two. They were not coming up for air. I went over to the host and asked him what their thoughts on PDA were. He said that they try to discourage it but it's not usually a problem. I tattled and told him that there was a grab-ass-athon going on in the corner. He thanked me for the info and then went to break it up. There was a handful of buddies who were not watching the movie because they were thoroughly ensconced in the show going on in the corner. When the show was broken up there was a lot of laughing and complaining and none of it was coming from the two actual participants. Praise the Lord for Paul's innocence. I don't know what my sister would do with a sexually mature mentally retarded man/child.

After the movie was over they put out some craft items. Colored paper, markers, stickers, foam sticky letters and a big cardboard display card. Paul and some of the other buddies went right to work drawing masterpieces. Some of them scribbled and some of them wrote their name. That is what I expected from Paul. He likes to see his name, but when I looked over at what he was drawing I found that he had drawn a very tiny picture of a penny and was searching through the foam letters so that he could spell out "penny". When he was done with that picture he turned the paper over and drew and labeled another picture. This one was of a plum. I would love to know what or who is Paul's muse. Why would he draw pictures of a penny or a plum? I asked him if he wanted to make a thank you card for the Buddy whose car he rode in and whose apartment we were in and he said, "no." I told him that it would be a really nice idea and he still said no, so I told him that I would do it by myself. He changed his mind and we did it together.

I found the letters and he peeled the backs off and stuck them to the paper. You can see by this picture of Paul and his card that he was thrilled to pieces. NOT.

While Paul was busy giving the Buddy his card I helped one of Paul's friends, Richard,(the one who was under the impression that I lived in my car.) make a card for his friend. I picked out the letters and gave them to him and he layed them out on a piece of paper. He wanted it to look like a card but he couldn't figure out how to fold the paper in half and he asked me to do it for him. Once again he set the letters on the paper and then he told me that I didn't give him the right letters. His friend was named Jessica. How many different ways was there to spell Jessica? I thought he was telling me he needed a "C" and I told him that I gave him a "C". "NO", he said, "a "V!" I told him that there was no "V" in Jessica but I found a "V" and gave it to him. He took the offending "C" out and spelled "Jessiva". I will forever wonder if the girl was actually named "Jessiva" or if that is what he thought her name was.

When it came time to leave Richard asked me if he could have a ride home. While I have no problem giving him a ride home I am in awe of the parent who lets her retarded son go places without securing a ride home in advance. As we pulled out of the parking lot of the apartments Richard told me that he had a cousin who lived around there. He gave it a minute of thought and said, "You can drop me off at my cousin's house." I asked him if his cousin was going to take him home or if his mom would come and get him. Then while he was thinking about that I asked him if he knew where his cousin lived. "No.", he said. "THAT will slow you down. Why don't I just take you all the way home?"

I didn't really know where I was but I figured that I would just point the car in what I believed to be the way home and hope for the best. As I was driving down the street I saw the freeway and figured that I was home free. I jumped on the freeway and all hell broke lose in the car. "YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY! NOW WE'RE LOST." "I'M SCARED. NOW WE'LL NEVER GET HOME!" "WHY DID YOU GET ON THE FREEWAY?" Yikes! Apparently I made a huge mistake. I asked both of them what they were talking about and they both agreed that I didn't need to get on the freeway and even if I did I was going the wrong way. Now what they were saying went against everything I felt at the time. So now what do I do? Do I continue on in what I think is the proper direction or do I trust 2 non driving handicapped man/children to tell me how it's done? In an effort to not have another panic-alooza I went the direction they told me to and before I knew it we were in the correct neighborhood and Richard's house was on the horizon.

They really put me in my place. Go figure.

Yes, Glendora, There Is A Santa Claus

From: Wyatt, Tami [mailto:twyatt@chapman.edu]
Sent: Monday, December 11, 2006 4:39 PM
To: City Council Outside E-Mail
Subject: The Glendora Stroll

To Whom It May Concern:

A couple of weeks ago my family and I went to the Glendora Stroll. It was a lovely night. All of the shops were decked out in their holiday finery, people were handing out cookies and hot chocolate and some of the more patient folks got to take a ride on horse drawn carriages. It was all quite beautiful and you could tell that a lot of work had been put in to making this event something very special.

The reason I'm writing this letter is to bring your attention to the wonderful man who played Santa Claus. I attended the Stroll with my 2 nephews. The youngest one is 3 and he has never, ever gotten near Santa Claus and yet this time he climbed up on his lap like they were old, dear friends. However this is not why I was so impressed with Santa. My other nephew, Paul, is 20 years old, as has been diagnosed with "mental retardation compounded with autistic tendencies". Paul is the size of a 20 year old but he has the mentality of a 6 year old. He has always loved Santa Claus and couldn't understand why he was not allowed to sit on his lap and talk to him any more. The whole time we were standing in line I was trying to convince Paul that Santa was only there to talk to the little kids and that he was too big to fit in the carriage with Santa. Once it got to be our turn another obviously handicapped young adult showed up and jumped in to the carriage with Santa. The handicapped young man's mom was trying to tell him that he shouldn't have jumped in front of the line and that it wasn't his turn yet. I assured the mom that it was ok and that I understood the excitement and then Santa assured the young man that everything was ok. Santa talked to him for a good couple of minutes and then it was our turn. Before we could get our baby into the carriage, Paul slid in there and sat right down next to Santa. With Paul being autistic it is much easier to let him do what he has his mind set to instead of interrupting him so I relented and told Paul that it was ok for him to talk to Santa but he was too big to sit on Santa's lap and that he needed to make his visit quick. Santa told me that everything was ok and he encouraged Paul to sit on his lap if that is where he wanted to sit. That dear Santa sat there for almost 5 minutes with approximately 200 lbs and 6 " of Paul on his lap and listened and spoke with him intently. Once Paul thought he had made his Christmas list clear to Santa he told him thank you and he got out. Paul adores Santa and I was moved to tears at how kind this one was. We have run across other Santa's who were not as patient. Your Santa didn't have to let this man/child sit on his lap and he didn't have to listen to Paul's somewhat unintelligible ramblings, but he did. And he did it like he meant it. He was not impatient nor was he in a hurry. This Santa was sweet and kind and gentle and I would have told him this to his face that night but I was too busy blubbering. He has no idea how much my family, (and I'm sure I speak for the family of the other handicapped young man, too.), appreciated his actions.

If you ever need a candidate for a good citizen award, I would like to nominate this gentleman. He is truly deserving of kudos for being so selfless in his portrayal of Santa Claus.

Sincerely,
Tami Wyatt

First response:

Hi Tami ,
Your email brought tears to my eyes - what a wonderful story. I have grown up (currently 60 yrs old!) with the spirit of Santa Claus still in my mind. I have always believed and thought that you're never too old , and traditions should never die. I am so happy that this Santa treated your son Paul as well as he did. I believe I know who this Santa is and I have already nominated (your suggestion) for the next awards presentation. I would like you and your family there to pass along your story at the time of the presentation. Please let me know if this is alright with you. I will let you know when the presentation is.
Thanks again,
Ken Herman, Mayor Pro Tem

Attachment:

-----Original Message-----From: Susan Baux [mailto:sbaux@ci.glendora.ca.us] Sent: Monday, December 11, 2006 4:43 PMTo: Councilmember Gary Clifford; Councilmember Karen Davis; Councilmember Mark Kelly; Mayor Doug Tessitor; Mayor Pro Tem Ken HermanCc: City ManagerSubject: FW: The Glendora Stroll

Dear Councilmembers,

After reading this story, would it be possible to invite this person (Santa) to the next Council presentations or would that not be proper?

Susan

2nd Response:

I was forwarded your very kind , made me feel good, e-mail regarding the Christmas Stroll, that you sent to City of Glendora by the Mayor Doug Tessitor,

I am the Santa Claus you write about.

My name is Gordon Norman, I live here in Glendora , having come here in 1967 to be the Band Director at Glendora High School, then moving on to Cal State University Long Beach in 1973, as Associate Director of Bands. I commuted to Long Beach so that your children could attend Glendora Schools.

After leaving education in '79, we started Tartan Tours and Travel, which became Norman Travel on Route 66, across from what is now Honey's and the Legend Restaurant. We closed the store front almost 4 years ago, and we now still do group travel (music groups) from our home on Valencia Street, close to Sandburg Middle School.

I guess kids loving kids come naturally to me as I have been involved with children all of my life, as an educator, coach and just have a love for kids. When you see their great big expectant eyes, you feel you know you must do all you can!!!!

I deeply appreciate the Handicapped, both physical and mental. Many years ago, I worked in the Pasadena Department of Recreation with the Handicapped in their Summer programs. This experience taught me a great deal of humility.

I have been doing Santa Clause now here in Glendora for almost 10 years and do this service to give back to my community that has given to myself, my family, so many wonderful years living here in this special town.

I am involved in Rotary, Sister City and have been in on the Parks and Recreation Commission (now Human Services) for several years. I will again next year serve as Rotary President after having done so 24 years ago.

Your e-mail brought a choked throat and tears to both my wife and myself, when we received it having been forwarded to me by the Mayor. I so appreciate you taking the time to say, Thank You.

I was asked by the Mayor to come to the City Council Meeting on Tuesday last, (as Santa) ,and did so. Your kind e-mail was read aloud to the audience. Again, I was moved deeply. Your kind thoughts are what make do this fun thing, called Santa Claus, a great experience.

My best to you and yours in this Holiday Season.

Gordon Norman


3rd Response

Hi Tami,

I wanted to thank you, belatedly, for your touching letter to the city relating your experience with Santa (Gordon Norman) at the Glendora Stroll.

When I received your e-mail, it was a short time before our council meeting. I called Santa and asked him to come to the meeting to wish Glendorans a Merry Christmas. When he arrived, I stopped the meeting and asked him to speak to those of us there.

Then I read portions of your letter to him publicly. He and the audience were very moved. I saw several people wiping their eyes. Your letter was a great Christmas present to Santa and the rest of us in the council chambers. Thanks to your sharing, all of us got to experience the true meaning of Christmas in a special way.

Would you give me permission to reprint your letter in my weekly Examiner column? This next edition will be the last one before Christmas and I really would like to do a Christmas story. Yours would fit the bill nicely. In respect of your privacy, I omitted your name at the council meeting, but would like to mention it in the article. With your permission! Please let me know. I need to start writing this morning.

Thank you again for letting us all experience this moment.

Doug Tessitor
Mayor
City of Glendora

From: Wyatt, Tami
Sent: Monday, December 18, 2006 10:46 AM
To: 'Doug Tessitor'
Subject: RE: Santa

Dear Mayor Tessitor,
I would be pleased as punch for you to publish my letter and I wholeheartedly give you permission to my pleasure. It was absolutely my pleasure to let you know about my family's encounter with him.Gordon Norman is, without a doubt When my Christmas is all about. When my family and I were waiting in line to see Santa and Paul was so insistent about wanting to sit in Santa's lap I was so very afraid that Santa was going to cringe at the idea of a handicapped man/child wanting to sit on his lap and attempt to talk to him. I wanted to protect Paul from what I thought was going to be an embarrassing experience and yet when Paul jumped in to that carriage Santa Norman greeted Paul with opened arms and quiet recognition of Paul's limited capabilities. If there weren't so many children in line behind us, I would have jumped into that carriage and given Santa Norman a hug. I hope my letter served as a hug by proxy.It was absolutely my pleasure to let you know about my family's encounter with him. Thank you for reading my letter aloud at the counsel meeting. Everyone should know that we have such a kind and gentle soul living among us.I look forward to reading your article.
Merry Christmas,
Tami Wyatt

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale....

Paul was the first one on the boat and he managed to get us seats up front. There was an old man sitting behind us who, I'm certain, should have had the nick name "Old Salty". He was fairly certain that he knew everything about this cruise because he was a deck hand on this boat 50 years previous. He probably wasn't as old as he looked but he had spent a life time out in the sun. His voice was gravely and he smelled of cigarettes. There was a young man sitting in front of us. He was younger than Old Salty, but he, too, was certain that he knew everything about this cruise because he had taken it so many times. Goody, goody, I am sitting with a know-it-all in front of me and behind me and Yacky Duck, aka: Paul, sitting next to me. Now all I needed was a semi drunk, black family, totally overdressed for a harbor cruise to hoot and holla and cause the boat to sit and wait because the rest of they party hadn't found their way out of the bar yet. My prayers were answered. I don't know how many of them there were but there were quiet a gaggle of them. They were decked out in gold jewelry and wearing lounge wear. They had their hair did and their nails did and I wasn't going to be the one to break it to them that they were on a 90 minute Newport Harbor cruise and not a 3 week Princess Cruise to the Bahamas. The captain held the boat for 20 minutes until the rest of the Bahama party arrived, drinks in hand. I was very surprised that they allowed glass and alcohol on the boat.

The cruise held Paul's interest for about 2 minutes and then he decided that he wanted to get off the boat. I pointed out to him that unless he wanted for all of us to jump overboard and high jack a pelican to escort us to shore that we would have to stay where we were. I also told him that I had already paid for the extended version of the cruise so that when the boat pulled in to the harbor we were not getting off. You would have thought I told him that there was a root canal waiting for him at the dock. He was furious. He ranted. He mumbled. He pouted. He turned his back to me. Other than Paul being a weenie I enjoyed the tour. I managed to tune out most of the Know-it-all twins commentary. We saw yachts that cost millions of dollars. We saw the little multi million dollar bungalow that Nicholas Cage just purchased. We saw a huge house that one of the Righteous Brother owned. Not one house we saw was worth less than 2 million dollars and that included the 1 bedroom condos. Where. Do. People. Get. Money. Of. Those. Proportions.? I just don't understand where the money comes from. How do we have that many multi-millionaires in one spot? It just boggles the mind. We saw some yachts that were the size of your average strip mall and we saw little sail boats that could easily fit in a one car garage. Most of the smaller boats appear to have been abandon due to the large amounts of barnacles, bird poo and sea lions that graced their decks. The tour guide told us about the insane amount of money it costs to dock a boat in Newport Harbor so I guess they weren't technically abandon. I totally imagined someone paying their stack of bills every month and writing a check to the Newport Harbor and thinking to their self..."I've got to figure out what I've been paying for for the last 14 years..."

When we pulled in to the dock Paul was ready to get off. I reminded him that we were not getting off just yet. In his effort to show me who was in charge here he went and sat in the total back of the boat. While I felt sorry for whomever he was going to provide an ongoing soliloquy to...I let him stay in the back of the boat. On the second half of the tour we went down past the jetty, out of the harbor mouth and in to free water. The waves made the boat bounce all over the place. Hannah and I were both hollering, "Wahoo!", with every roll and bounce. Paul was getting a big kick out of standing up during this portion of the cruise. I was hoping I wasn't going to have to explain to his mother that, "He just fell in and now he's living with the whales. He speaks fluent whale, you know..."

When the boat pulled back in to the dock for the second time I figured Paul would be the first one off, but instead he was holding back because he was talking to the captain. I let everyone get off before we did and still had to pry Paul away from the captain. As we got off the boat the captain said, "Good bye, Paul." I thanked him for the nice ride and for his patience.

As soon as we got off the boat Paul ran straight to the arcade. I got $20.00 worth of tokens. We all played skee ball. Paul ROCKS at skee ball. Hannah's lane only had two balls in it and by the time she got it fixed Paul had already played 3 games. After skee ball there was basketball, a couple of different games where you slap an alligators nose and one where you hit a gopher with a mallet. Then we moved on to some rifle shooting games and then we ended with Paul playing a driving game, where he did a great job I might add, and then Hannah and I got our pictures taken in a black and white photo booth. We combined all of our win tickets and they got some trinkets and walked away happy. Paul was not at all eager to leave but I explained to him that our time was up on the parking meter. He pretty much told me that I was Stupid Idiot Mc Liar Pants because when we got to the car the meter said we had 4 minutes left. I asked him what he wanted to do for 4 minutes and he said he wanted to go back to the arcade. I asked him if he had any money to spend during his 4 minutes in the arcade and he said no and got in the car. That is the first time that ploy ever worked for me.

It only took us 10 minutes to get to my house from Newport and Paul was very excited about getting to go swimming. Unfortunately for Paul we had to eat again so there would be no time for swimming. The 3 of us and Andrew walked up to Ruby's on the Huntington Beach pier and had a nice dinner. We had to wait about 25 minutes for a table but the cartoon video that was playing in the foyer kept Paul entertained.

By the time we walked back to my house we had to get back into the car so we could meet Tori in Yorba Linda. That is about as "in the middle" as you can get between Riverside and Huntington Beach. There is probably a better "middle" but I don't know where it would be. We got to Yorba Linda before Tori did so we bounced in to a Rite Aid drug store and got ice cream. Paul darted in to the restroom and proceeded to camp out in there until the one and only cashier had to get on the loud speaker and announce that the store was going to close. I was going to try to explain to the cashier that he was trying to teach a pig to sing, but instead I just let him live in his fantasy world where people actually react to such announcements.

After Paul came out of the restroom and we all had our ice creams we drove around the parking lot trying to find a way back to the street. I managed to wind up in the very back of the parking lot next to a row of Dumpsters. While I was sitting still trying to figure out how to get the heck out of Dodge, Andrew noticed an owl sitting on the edge of the dumpster. It was a beautiful sight that we were all taking in until Paul rolled down his window and attempted to communicate with it. "WHOOO! WHOO!", he said, and with that the regal animal effortlessly flew away. (Dr. Doolittle count: I don't know, I've lost track.)

Although I consider myself a somewhat seasoned traveler I was embarrassed at how many attempts it took me to get from the Rite Aid parking lot to the Starbucks parking lot in Yorba Linda. They were pretty much across the street from each other and I am not making this up when I tell you it took us almost 15 minutes to get from point A to point B. When I exited the Rite Aid parking lot I could only turn right. Of course Starbucks was to the left. Once I turned right I had to go a couple of miles down the road in order to make a U turn. Then once I was going in the right direction I missed the drive way for Starbucks and had to go another couple of miles down the road so I could make another U turn. I hesitate to admit that I missed the Starbucks driveway a second time so I had to hang another U to get back to where I needed to go. I finally found my sister and gave her the children. The kids had just spent an action packed weekend away from their mom and yet when they saw her they had nothing to say. Apparently the whole event was going to be our little
secret.

I saw Paul 4 days later and he said, "Hey Auntie, when are you going to take me away for the weekend like you promised?" Perhaps I need to give the addy to this blog?

This brings us to Sunday

We slept in on Sunday. We all got up and got ready in our own sweet time. I told Paul to brush his teeth approximately 300 times. Then on the 301st time he told me that he had brushed his teeth. I told him to show me his toothbrush and of course that let to fumbling and grumbling. Long story short he had lied to me. What he had done was put toothpaste in his mouth and called it a day. He didn't say his tooth was bothering him but that is what I'm going to blame it one. I don't want to accuse him of being a weenie without sufficient proof. (and that was coming later in the day.)

When we checked out of the motel I let Paul turn the card key in. He insisted on performing his transaction via the walk up window instead of going inside. He had attempted to use this window during every encounter we had with the motel people and I told him to go inside every time. But since he ran down the stairs and got to the office 45 seconds before me he was able to get to the window and ring the bell and get the clerk to come to the window. The smug look on Paul's face once he turned the card in through the window was priceless. Tori and I have seen this look on all of her children and we call it the "Kermit Face".

Paul wanted to head straight to my house and go swimming in the pool. I told him that we would be at my house at some point during the day so he needed to relax and actually act like he was on vacation and not in a race to get his body into a pool. Paul said ok, but the look on his face was saying, "Well, Auntie, you are the idiot who took me 100 miles away from home and found the only motel on the west coast that had no swimming pool!"

We drove down to Pacific Coast Highway and we found a dog show going on. I asked the kids if they wanted to stop and watch for a minute and they both said yes. It turned out to be a standard poodle show. There were probably about 75 dogs there and they were all beautiful. They were fluffed and puffed and blow-dried and bowed within an inch of their lives. There were black ones, grey ones, white one and brown ones. They were very tall and very regal. Even though they all had their game faces on you could tell that all of them just couldn't wait for the frou frou stuff to end so that they could go chase a ball somewhere. Of course Paul had to bark at all of them. I told him not to do that because I didn't want him to start "Poodle Riot by the sea 2006", but apparently since I was speaking in a foreign language that Paul couldn't understand he continued his barking. (If anyone is keeping count...So far this weekend Paul has demonstrated his finesse in the art of animal communication by brushing up on his whale speak and finally a brief yet meaningful tete 'a tete with several show poodles.)

There was one poodle who was up on a table with his fluffy hair blowin in the wind. I took Hannah's picture with him and all went well. After telling Paul, no exaggeration, 10 times not to touch the dog, he reached out to touch it and we got yelled at. That was my signal that it was time to go. On the way out we saw a couple of puppies. They were adorable, shaggy and smiling. They could be played with but, naturally Paul was afraid of them.

We got back in to the car, Paul made his "back to your house" announcement, and we headed up the coast. We decided that we were starving by the time we hit Ocean Side. For anyone who doesn't know better that would be about 5 minutes after getting into the car!

I stopped to get gas, $2.89 per gallon, and I saw the "101 Cafe" across the street. It was bulging at the seams with people so I figured that meant it had to be good. We went inside and was fortunate to get to sit right down. Paul ordered chicken fingers and a soda, Hannah got a grilled cheese and a soda and I ordered toast and a chocolate diet coke. (Oxymoron, I know.)
When my soda arrived I thought Hannah was going to scream! "LOOK AT ALL THE CHOCOLATE IN THE BOTTOM OF YOUR GLASS!" I had a fairly large cup and it was about 1/4 full of chocolate syrup. After I stirred it all up it looked like I had a cup of mud. Pretty much tasted like it too.

We went down Pacific Coast Highway a little further and we decided to take a walk on the Oceanside Pier. I found a place to park, which was amazing since there was some type of event going on at the beach. Paul was half way to the middle of the pier before Hannah had her shoes on. It was obvious that since this was the last day of vacation Paul figured that he didn't have to listen to me even a little bit.

The Oceanside pier is cool in the fact that it is made out of wooden slats as opposed to cement like the Huntington Beach pier. Hannah and I enjoyed looking at the water under our feet. There was a Ruby's restaurant at the end of the pier and Paul wanted to eat there. I reminded him that less than 20 minutes ago we were eating breakfast. No matter. He wanted to eat at Ruby's and he was not going to leave until we did. I told him that he might get cold and lonely and his mother would miss him but if that was what he wanted to do then fine. We took a couple of pictures and then he grumbled all the way back to the car.

After the pier we jumped on the freeway and fortunately sailed right through the border patrol. There was no one even working there, it looked like a ghost town. Where are the minute men when you need them?

I got off of the freeway at Dana Point and we took Pacific Coast Highway for the rest of our journey. We saw a See's Candy store and it was decided unanimously that we should stop and get some breakfast candy. Everyone got their sample and two pieces of their choice. We took pictures in front of the store and got back into the car.

We wound up in Newport/Balboa and it only took us 3 times around the block to find a parking place. We fed the parking meter, one of Paul's favorite parts of the entire vacation, and we were off to have some fun. I asked Paul if he wanted to go on the "horrible cruise" and he said yes. Hannah asked if it was really a horrible cruise then why would we want to go on it?? I explained to her that when Paul was little he confused the word "harbor" with "horrible" and thus he referred to it as a "horrible cruise" but it was actually quite lovely. Right when we got to the boardwalk I heard the announcement for the last call for the harbor cruise. S0 we jumped in line and bought our tickets and went out to the dock and that is when I discovered that I had purchased tickets for the wrong boat. I wanted to go on the nice, two story boat that has a small snack bar and a restroom. The boat we had tickets for looked like someone had just pulled it out of a dry dock and flung it in the water. The seats were all tattered and paint was peeling. Paul was already on the boat and there was no way I would have convinced him that we needed to get off of this boat and get on another one so I decided to stay on this boat and consider it an adventure.

Still At TJ Maxx

Still at TJ Max....

Hannah and I had tried on several outfits but none of them fit. The clothes I picked for Hannah were all size 7 or 8 and they were all too big. The clothes I picked for me were all size 5 or 6 and they were all too big. I had one pair of capris in size 4 and they fit like leotards.

I took Paul out of the dressing room area and took his picture near the shoe display. There were a bunch of people from Germany hanging out near the shoes and I found myself wondering if they thought that all of us crazy Americans took pictures of clothes that we had no intention of buying? After I took the pictures of Paul I told him to go put on another outfit so we could see how handsome he looked. He informed me that he was finished trying on clothes and it was time to go back to the hotel. I tried to talk him into trying on at least one more outfit and he would have none of it. He was finished. The end. There will be no more changing of the clothes. As a matter of fact he wanted me to purchase the outfit he was wearing because he didn't want to be bothered with taking it off! I reminded him that he knew the rules of playing department store dress up...the number one rule being WE ARE NOT GOING TO BUY ANYTHING.

After telling Paul that we were absolutely not going to buy anything I found a sterling silver ring and purchased it. Dichotomy, thy name is Tami.

We drove around Encinitas and Leucadia and then went back to the Motel so Paul could go swimming. Once we got back to said Motel we were informed that they didn't have a pool. I thought Paul was going to jump over the counter and throttle the motel clerk. I told him that I was really sorry but I had been told that this motel had a pool and obviously I had been misinformed. (TORI!) I thought that we could go to the beach but then realized that the only towels we had were the teeny weeny white hotel style towels and that would never work. So we stayed inside for a couple of hours and then we went to go find something to eat. I asked the kids which restaurant was right next door to us, was it Carls Jr. or Burger King? They both agreed that it was Burger King and I thought, cool, I can get a veggie burger there. But when we got outside Burger King turned out to be Carls Jr. I told the kids that I didn't want anything from Carls Jr. I thought it would be fun to walk around and see what was available to us but then somehow Paul got it into his head that I had promised him that we'd eat dinner at Jack In The Box. I told him that I would never have said such a thing because I hate Jack in the Box. He got into a pouty snit and wouldn't walk with me and Hannah. We passed some no name Mexican drive through and we passed a KFC/Taco Bell. I remembered that there was a Subway down on Pacific Coast Highway right in the middle of a small yet very busy shopping center. We arrived there about 2 seconds after they locked their doors. We walked around the shops to see if there was any other place where we could eat. We found a sushi restaurant that grossed the kids out to the core of their very being, and we found the restaurant that has the huge dining patio with the live music. Paul was inspired to bust a move and was really mad when I said we had to find food. "You know how I like to dance don't you?", Paul said. (I have been his date at several school dances and you couldn't pay him to dance, so, yes, I know how he likes to dance.) In an effort to show me what a dancing kinda guy he was he proceeded to pretty much dance all the way back up to the Carls Jr/Green Burrito. I never knew he was such a funky guy!

We wound up eating dinner at Carls Jr. and then went back to the motel to play more Scattergories and watch more cartoons.

The saga continues

10:00 AM. In all the years of Paul's life I have never heard of him sleeping so late. I actually checked on him several times to assure myself that he was still breathing. I know that Hannah could sleep until the cows come home so I didn't bother her until I realized what time it was. I was going to let Paul sleep due to the events of the previous evening but then I realized that the longer I let him sleep the later he'd want to stay up so I woke him up and told him to get into the shower. He asked me to start the shower for him but I convinced him that he could do it himself. Once he got the shower started he cracked the door open and asked me to get him his clean clothes. Who ever did the packing for was obviously in a huge hurry because in addition to not packing Hannah's pajamas they neglected to pack underwear for Paul. So I gave him a pair of board shorts and a tee shirt. I figured I let Paul decide if he wanted to go commando or if we had a trip to Kmart in our immediate future. Hannah and I watched "The Ron Clark Story" while Paul romped in the shower. There is no one who gets more "YAHOO" time in the shower than Paul, except for the occasional otter and with that I'm sure the otter doesn't leave as big of a mess on the bathroom floor.

Hannah had to wait to change her clothes until Paul got out of the bathroom. (Modesty; thy name is Hannah Grace Pendell.) After everyone was dressed we started the teeth brushing parade. We each had our very own toothbrush and tube of toothpaste however we were forced to share my girly deodorant as someone forgot to pack that, too. Once we were all clear of the threat of under arm wetness we were off to embrace the day.

Right outside of the motel was a Denny's and a Carl's Jr./Green Burrito. Paul wanted to eat breakfast at Carl's Jr. and was truly not at all interested in eating the specialty breakfast that you can only get at Henessey's; Captain Crunch french toast. I was almost relieved that he didn't want to eat that because I was afraid he would injure his already sore tooth. It took a lot of talking to convince him that we could eat breakfast at Carl's Jr. any day of the week and that it would be more special to eat at Henessey's.

It only took a couple of minutes to drive there and we were able to park right in front of the restaurant. Paul chose to eat outside on the patio. Not because it was a beautiful day outside and the sun was shining and the birds were singing, but because he could see the car from where he was sitting. Little did I know that this would be the highlight of his breakfast experience. He read the breakfast menu from top to bottom and decided that he wanted a mushroom omelet and potatoes and lemonade. Hannah ordered the Captain Crunch french toast and I had oatmeal. (yeah, way to live large and go beyond the norm...) There were not very many people at the restaurant so our food came out rather quickly. Paul was quick to notice that his toast didn't arrive with his food and asked for it 3 times in about 20 seconds. The waitress must have thought he was having gluten withdrawals. Once the coveted toast arrived Paul put jelly on all 4 pieces and made jelly sandwiches. He ate all of his toast and all of his potatoes and 1, I counted 1, bite of his omelet. He said he wanted to take it with him but I convinced him that eggs are not a "to go" item especially when you do not have a cooling device nor a heating device in your hotel room.

I'd like to say that Hannah did better on her breakfast however out of the 4 slices of french toast she ate 1, I counted 1, and only 1. And as a matter of fact Paul even had a bite of the one consumed piece of toast. I knew when they were ordering that they probably wouldn't eat all of the food they ordered but I had figured that they would at least make a try to finish half of it. Foolish me.

After we ate Paul announced, "Well, BACK to the hotel!" I asked him why he wanted to go back to the motel and he said that he had to go to the bathroom. I reminded him that he had just, not 3 minutes ago, used the bathroom at the restaurant and he told me that he had to go again. So we went back to the motel. He had the card key in his pocket and he went bounding up the stairs. I told him that I would be right in but I was going to walk to the gas station, which was less than 100 yards away from our room, to get a news paper so I could see what time the movies were playing. He insisted that I had to walk to the room with him so I did. It only took Hannah and I a couple of minutes to get the newspaper and get back up to our door. Paul was still in the bathroom and he had the card key with him. I feared we were going to be stuck on the 2nd floor balcony of the Carlsbad Motel 6 for hours but luckily we only had to wait for about 10 minutes. I really feel like we dodged a bullet there!

We hung out in the room for a little over an hour and then headed off to find a Long's or Sav-On where we could buy movie goodies for less than $5.00 a piece. In the distance Paul saw a sign for a Henry's grocery store. We stopped in there and Paul went right to the soda aisle. They didn't have the exact one he wanted so he asked a store employee if they had what he was looking for. The woman explained that she was a cashier and she didn't know what type of soda they stocked. A lame excuse, I thought. Paul, Hannah and I looked in everyone of the refrigerated cases but to no avail. He settled for the soda that was nearest the one he wanted and then we walked past the prepackaged candy isle. Paul found the licorice shelf and thought he had gone to hog heaven. He insisted that we get a $4.00 package of grape licorice. I told him that he shouldn't be attempting to eat licorice on his infected tooth. Everyone in the store got to listen to Paul explain that his mom said that he could eat whatever he wanted as long as he chewed only on his good side. I reminded him that his mom wasn't with us and I said he could not have the grape licorice. He planted his feet firmly on the ground and insisted that he was not leaving until I bought him the licorice. I advised him to write when he got work and then Hannah and I went to the bulk candy aisle. Hannah picked out gummy worms which I thought were quite appropriate considering the movie we were about to see. I got Paul some chocolate covered raisins and I got a piece of dark chocolate honey comb. Hannah and I walked over to the cash register and Paul was still having a fit over the licorice. Once he realized he was not getting licorice he decided that he wanted some of the soup that they keep prepared in a black cauldron in the front of the store. I tried to quietly explain that you are pushing your luck when you try to sneak a bottle of soda and your own candy into the movies...it would be almost impossible to sneak a bowl of soup in with us. This concept just didn't compute with him. He wanted soup and licorice and he was not going to the movies without them. I proceeded to pay for the candy and his soda and once again advised Paul to write when he got work and proceeded to go outside. I can only imagine that the people in the store thought that I was a total raging bitch to this poor handicapped man/child, but little do they know that if I had tried to reason with him he would have only thrown a bigger fit that would have taken hours to get over and it just wouldn't have been fun for anyone. As I walked outside I could only hope that Paul was coming along behind me. It would sure suck to make a dramatic exit and then have to go back to the scene of the crime to pick up the perpetrator.

I had given Paul the choice of which movie he wanted to see between, "Barnyard", "!!MATERIAL GIRLS!!! or "howtoeatfriedworms". His pick was "Snakes on a Plane". I reminded him that that was not one of the offered choices but that didn't matter. Well there is no way I was going to watch that movie even if my Keanu was staring in it. I gave Paul his three choices again and of course he wanted to see "How to Eat Fried Worms." I was beginning to think that the snake movie would be better...at least I haven't heard that anyone was going to be consuming any of the slithering airplane stow-aways. When we got to the theater Paul decided that he wanted to see "Barnyard" and it must have been my and Hannah's collective sigh of relief that brought him back to his senses and he remembered that he wanted to see the worm movie.

Paul is the perfect movie watcher. He laughs exactly when the movie dictates and he laughs long and he laughs hard. No matter that no one else is laughing.... if the movie does something the least bit humorous you are going to get a laugh out of Paul and God forbid there is slapstick involved because he just can't get enough of that. I gave Paul his soda and his chocolate covered raisins then I went to the snack bar to get Hannah and I soda and popcorn. Much to my amazement, NOT, Paul was completely finished with his snacks by the time I got back from the snack bar and was trying to talk Hannah out of hers. All I could think was that last night all he had to eat was pancakes and that caused him to hurl...what would tonight be like after Paul had partaken of this junk food orgy?

The movie was as gross as the title suggested. I really didn't see any social redeeming qualities, break out actors or award winning stunts. The only thing of merit was the one girl in the movie was the adorable little girl with the masses of curly hair who used to do the Pepsi commercials. Haley something. (yeah, she made a big impression on me.)

The instant the movie was over Paul announced, "Well, BACK to the hotel!" I told him that we didn't need to rush back to the motel...we were on vacation...we needed to walk around and see what there was to see. We were right next to a TJ Max so I asked him and Hannah if they wanted to play dress up. Hannah is always up for department store dress up and I was very surprised to hear Paul say he wanted to play, too. I picked out about 40 pieces of clothing for me to go through and then I wrangled Paul in to going into the men's department. I put several outfits together for him and then we went to the little girls department to find something for Hannah. Well...apparently if you are a size 7 and you shop at TJ Max you'd better be a fan of denim because that was all they had. So I put 6 outfits together for Hannah and then went through my stack to narrow it down to a more manageable number. Paul was off and wandering through the toy section and he came back with a huge Sponge Bob bouncing ball. He wanted the ball to play with when we went to the beach or the pool. I told him that we were not buying any balls, we were there to play dress up and that was all.

We went to the dressing rooms and there was no way in God's green earth that they would allow Paul to share the big handicapped room with me and Hannah. I didn't want to humiliate Paul by explaining that ya just never know what Paul was going to do or who he was going to talk to...I was in fear that he would go in to the dressing rooms and attempt to lead everyone in the place in a round of Matchgame '77 and wind up getting his ass whipped. So I told Paul to take his outfits and go put them on and walk out to the middle between the mens dressing rooms and the womans dressing rooms and don't talk to anyone. Before I could even try on one item of clothing I hear Paul chatting up the dressing room monitor. I was astonished at how quickly he'd been able to change his clothes and then I thought, jeez, he could be standing out there in his chonies, so I finished putting my shirt on and went out to check on him. I am happy to say that Paul was not standing around in his chonies, but he was not in his new outfit either. He had tried on a new shirt but not the pants or the jacket. I asked him where the rest of the outfit was and he said he only wanted to try on the one shirt. I told him that he needed to go back into the dressing room and put the pants and jacket on, too and then let me see how he looked. As anyone could have guessed it only took him 1 minute to change his pants and throw the jacket on. I came out to find him looking like someone who had never worn a jacket in his life. It actually looked like the jacket was attacking him! (Hannah hasn't completely changed in to one new outfit yet.) I pulled Pauls shirt sleeve out of his jacket and pushed the jacket sleeves up his forearms then I folded the long sleeves of the shirt up a couple of turns and then pushed them up to the jacket sleeve. I pulled his shirt collar out of the wad that was inside the jacket and centered the jacket on his huge shoulders. I tucked the shirt in and took care of Paul's terminal case of "Lou Syndrome" and took a step back. Paul was a very handsome figure in Tommy Hilfiger denim painters pants, a long sleeved, pink, Ralph Lauren oxford shirt and a white linen blazer. The dressing room monitor told him how nice he looked and then it was on. The poor dressing room monitor never knew that the blabber mouth had been unleashed and she started it! I wanted to take a picture of Paul but I wanted to see how Hannah was doing first so I told him to stay there and I'd be right back. In the next few minutes everyone on either side of the dressing rooms knew what the dressing room monitor's name was, how long she'd been working at TJ Max, why she was working at TJ Max and then all about Paul's school history and his current gig at Project Team.