Tuesday, August 29, 2006

The saga continues


10:00 AM. In all the years of Paul's life I have never heard of him sleeping so late. I actually checked on him several times to assure myself that he was still breathing. I know that Hannah could sleep until the cows come home so I didn't bother her until I realized what time it was. I was going to let Paul sleep due to the events of the previous evening but then I realized that the longer I let him sleep the later he'd want to stay up so I woke him up and told him to get into the shower. He asked me to start the shower for him but I convinced him that he could do it himself. Once he got the shower started he cracked the door open and asked me to get him his clean clothes. Who ever did the packing for was obviously in a huge hurry because in addition to not packing Hannah's pajamas they neglected to pack underwear for Paul. So I gave him a pair of board shorts and a tee shirt. I figured I let Paul decide if he wanted to go commando or if we had a trip to Kmart in our immediate future. Hannah and I watched "The Ron Clark Story" while Paul romped in the shower. There is no one who gets more "YAHOO" time in the shower than Paul, except for the occasional otter and with that I'm sure the otter doesn't leave as big of a mess on the bathroom floor.

Hannah had to wait to change her clothes until Paul got out of the bathroom. (Modesty; thy name is Hannah Grace Pendell.) After everyone was dressed we started the teeth brushing parade. We each had our very own toothbrush and tube of toothpaste however we were forced to share my girly deodorant as someone forgot to pack that, too. Once we were all clear of the threat of under arm wetness we were off to embrace the day.

Right outside of the motel was a Denny's and a Carl's Jr./Green Burrito. Paul wanted to eat breakfast at Carl's Jr. and was truly not at all interested in eating the specialty breakfast that you can only get at Henessey's; Captain Crunch french toast. I was almost relieved that he didn't want to eat that because I was afraid he would injure his already sore tooth. It took a lot of talking to convince him that we could eat breakfast at Carl's Jr. any day of the week and that it would be more special to eat at Henessey's.

It only took a couple of minutes to drive there and we were able to park right in front of the restaurant. Paul chose to eat outside on the patio. Not because it was a beautiful day outside and the sun was shining and the birds were singing, but because he could see the car from where he was sitting. Little did I know that this would be the highlight of his breakfast experience. He read the breakfast menu from top to bottom and decided that he wanted a mushroom omelet and potatoes and lemonade. Hannah ordered the Captain Crunch french toast and I had oatmeal. (yeah, way to live large and go beyond the norm...) There were not very many people at the restaurant so our food came out rather quickly. Paul was quick to notice that his toast didn't arrive with his food and asked for it 3 times in about 20 seconds. The waitress must have thought he was having gluten withdrawals. Once the coveted toast arrived Paul put jelly on all 4 pieces and made jelly sandwiches. He ate all of his toast and all of his potatoes and 1, I counted 1, bite of his omelet. He said he wanted to take it with him but I convinced him that eggs are not a "to go" item especially when you do not have a cooling device nor a heating device in your hotel room.

I'd like to say that Hannah did better on her breakfast however out of the 4 slices of french toast she ate 1, I counted 1, and only 1. And as a matter of fact Paul even had a bite of the one consumed piece of toast. I knew when they were ordering that they probably wouldn't eat all of the food they ordered but I had figured that they would at least make a try to finish half of it. Foolish me.

After we ate Paul announced, "Well, BACK to the hotel!" I asked him why he wanted to go back to the motel and he said that he had to go to the bathroom. I reminded him that he had just, not 3 minutes ago, used the bathroom at the restaurant and he told me that he had to go again. So we went back to the motel. He had the card key in his pocket and he went bounding up the stairs. I told him that I would be right in but I was going to walk to the gas station, which was less than 100 yards away from our room, to get a news paper so I could see what time the movies were playing. He insisted that I had to walk to the room with him so I did. It only took Hannah and I a couple of minutes to get the newspaper and get back up to our door. Paul was still in the bathroom and he had the card key with him. I feared we were going to be stuck on the 2nd floor balcony of the Carlsbad Motel 6 for hours but luckily we only had to wait for about 10 minutes. I really feel like we dodged a bullet there!

We hung out in the room for a little over an hour and then headed off to find a Long's or Sav-On where we could buy movie goodies for less than $5.00 a piece. In the distance Paul saw a sign for a Henry's grocery store. We stopped in there and Paul went right to the soda aisle. They didn't have the exact one he wanted so he asked a store employee if they had what he was looking for. The woman explained that she was a cashier and she didn't know what type of soda they stocked. A lame excuse, I thought. Paul, Hannah and I looked in everyone of the refrigerated cases but to no avail. He settled for the soda that was nearest the one he wanted and then we walked past the prepackaged candy isle. Paul found the licorice shelf and thought he had gone to hog heaven. He insisted that we get a $4.00 package of grape licorice. I told him that he shouldn't be attempting to eat licorice on his infected tooth. Everyone in the store got to listen to Paul explain that his mom said that he could eat whatever he wanted as long as he chewed only on his good side. I reminded him that his mom wasn't with us and I said he could not have the grape licorice. He planted his feet firmly on the ground and insisted that he was not leaving until I bought him the licorice. I advised him to write when he got work and then Hannah and I went to the bulk candy aisle. Hannah picked out gummy worms which I thought were quite appropriate considering the movie we were about to see. I got Paul some chocolate covered raisins and I got a piece of dark chocolate honey comb. Hannah and I walked over to the cash register and Paul was still having a fit over the licorice. Once he realized he was not getting licorice he decided that he wanted some of the soup that they keep prepared in a black cauldron in the front of the store. I tried to quietly explain that you are pushing your luck when you try to sneak a bottle of soda and your own candy into the movies...it would be almost impossible to sneak a bowl of soup in with us. This concept just didn't compute with him. He wanted soup and licorice and he was not going to the movies without them. I proceeded to pay for the candy and his soda and once again advised Paul to write when he got work and proceeded to go outside. I can only imagine that the people in the store thought that I was a total raging bitch to this poor handicapped man/child, but little do they know that if I had tried to reason with him he would have only thrown a bigger fit that would have taken hours to get over and it just wouldn't have been fun for anyone. As I walked outside I could only hope that Paul was coming along behind me. It would sure suck to make a dramatic exit and then have to go back to the scene of the crime to pick up the perpetrator.

I had given Paul the choice of which movie he wanted to see between, "Barnyard", "!!MATERIAL GIRLS!!! or "howtoeatfriedworms". His pick was "Snakes on a Plane". I reminded him that that was not one of the offered choices but that didn't matter. Well there is no way I was going to watch that movie even if my Keanu was staring in it. I gave Paul his three choices again and of course he wanted to see "How to Eat Fried Worms." I was beginning to think that the snake movie would be better...at least I haven't heard that anyone was going to be consuming any of the slithering airplane stow-aways. When we got to the theater Paul decided that he wanted to see "Barnyard" and it must have been my and Hannah's collective sigh of relief that brought him back to his senses and he remembered that he wanted to see the worm movie.

Paul is the perfect movie watcher. He laughs exactly when the movie dictates and he laughs long and he laughs hard. No matter that no one else is laughing.... if the movie does something the least bit humorous you are going to get a laugh out of Paul and God forbid there is slapstick involved because he just can't get enough of that. I gave Paul his soda and his chocolate covered raisins then I went to the snack bar to get Hannah and I soda and popcorn. Much to my amazement, NOT, Paul was completely finished with his snacks by the time I got back from the snack bar and was trying to talk Hannah out of hers. All I could think was that last night all he had to eat was pancakes and that caused him to hurl...what would tonight be like after Paul had partaken of this junk food orgy?

The movie was as gross as the title suggested. I really didn't see any social redeeming qualities, break out actors or award winning stunts. The only thing of merit was the one girl in the movie was the adorable little girl with the masses of curly hair who used to do the Pepsi commercials. Haley something. (yeah, she made a big impression on me.)

The instant the movie was over Paul announced, "Well, BACK to the hotel!" I told him that we didn't need to rush back to the motel...we were on vacation...we needed to walk around and see what there was to see. We were right next to a TJ Max so I asked him and Hannah if they wanted to play dress up. Hannah is always up for department store dress up and I was very surprised to hear Paul say he wanted to play, too. I picked out about 40 pieces of clothing for me to go through and then I wrangled Paul in to going into the men's department. I put several outfits together for him and then we went to the little girls department to find something for Hannah. Well...apparently if you are a size 7 and you shop at TJ Max you'd better be a fan of denim because that was all they had. So I put 6 outfits together for Hannah and then went through my stack to narrow it down to a more manageable number. Paul was off and wandering through the toy section and he came back with a huge Sponge Bob bouncing ball. He wanted the ball to play with when we went to the beach or the pool. I told him that we were not buying any balls, we were there to play dress up and that was all.

We went to the dressing rooms and there was no way in God's green earth that they would allow Paul to share the big handicapped room with me and Hannah. I didn't want to humiliate Paul by explaining that ya just never know what Paul was going to do or who he was going to talk to...I was in fear that he would go in to the dressing rooms and attempt to lead everyone in the place in a round of Matchgame '77 and wind up getting his ass whipped. So I told Paul to take his outfits and go put them on and walk out to the middle between the mens dressing rooms and the womans dressing rooms and don't talk to anyone. Before I could even try on one item of clothing I hear Paul chatting up the dressing room monitor. I was astonished at how quickly he'd been able to change his clothes and then I thought, jeez, he could be standing out there in his chonies, so I finished putting my shirt on and went out to check on him. I am happy to say that Paul was not standing around in his chonies, but he was not in his new outfit either. He had tried on a new shirt but not the pants or the jacket. I asked him where the rest of the outfit was and he said he only wanted to try on the one shirt. I told him that he needed to go back into the dressing room and put the pants and jacket on, too and then let me see how he looked. As anyone could have guessed it only took him 1 minute to change his pants and throw the jacket on. I came out to find him looking like someone who had never worn a jacket in his life. It actually looked like the jacket was attacking him! (Hannah hasn't completely changed in to one new outfit yet.) I pulled Pauls shirt sleeve out of his jacket and pushed the jacket sleeves up his forearms then I folded the long sleeves of the shirt up a couple of turns and then pushed them up to the jacket sleeve. I pulled his shirt collar out of the wad that was inside the jacket and centered the jacket on his huge shoulders. I tucked the shirt in and took care of Paul's terminal case of "Lou Syndrome" and took a step back. Paul was a very handsome figure in Tommy Hilfiger denim painters pants, a long sleeved, pink, Ralph Lauren oxford shirt and a white linen blazer. The dressing room monitor told him how nice he looked and then it was on. The poor dressing room monitor never knew that the blabber mouth had been unleashed and she started it! I wanted to take a picture of Paul but I wanted to see how Hannah was doing first so I told him to stay there and I'd be right back. In the next few minutes everyone on either side of the dressing rooms knew what the dressing room monitor's name was, how long she'd been working at TJ Max, why she was working at TJ Max and then all about Paul's school history and his current gig at Project Team.

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1 Comments:

Anonymous Mother said...

I've read them all and had to smile and laugh a lot. Knowing all the participants helps to make the stories even funnier. You're writing never ceases to amuse me. Keep up the good work!

6:51 PM  

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