Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Kitty Update

The day after the kittens were born we moved them out from under the kitchen sink because I needed to plug in and use the garbage disposal. (I went for 99% of my life without a garbage disposal and thus it is rare that I ever dump food in the sink, however Andrew has never known life without a garbage disposal and because of this my kitchen sink was quickly filling up with Beef-A-Roni. I am not making this up. Anyone who knows me well knows that I would never allow Beef-A-Roni in my house but in the interest of the possibility of ever getting my house painted I have looked the other way and have allowed Chef Boy Ardee into my home.)

We put the kittens in a box and put them in this huge dog kennel that we were going to use to keep the cats out of the way when we were going to paint my living room 3 months ago. (editors note: living room still not painted.) Here is Lorenzo acting as Uncle Daddy the Sentinel.

All parties seemed happy with this arrangement until the morning that Ashleigh tried to conduct the kitten relocation program. Apparently she needs peace and quiet and lots of darkness to raise her family so we moved the brood in to my living room closet.

This little kitty can almost see Uncle Daddy. I think we will have peepers in the next few days.

And here is the whole happy family. I can always tell when he is in there with them because I can hear him talking to them. It is a very quiet and low mumble, almost a purr. Ashleigh talks to them, too, but her voice is much higher and everything she says to them sounds like it has a question mark in it. Ashleigh is a very good mom cat. She is attentive and loving and keeps the babies very clean.

Have you ever seen a more involved dad cat? He simply adores these babies and his wife/sister. I'm tellin' ya, I'm gonna rename Ashleigh & Lorenzo because I think the names "Magenta" and "Riff Raff" might better suit them. ("Rocky Horror Picture Show" reference.)

An Uncle/Daddy's work is never done.

"...2, 3, 4...."

"...and...5. All present and accounted for. Now I can go for a walk in peace."

Dear Nana,
I don't think Mama is going to take me to Subway anymore. The last two times I went there I squalled my head off. Last night I really whooped it up because I could smell the meat and I wanted some. Mama and Andrew kept telling me to be quiet but I just couldn't help it. "Maaaa-RRROOOOWWWWW" I said, but I still couldn't get anyone to give me some meat. Mama had Andrew take me outside. I thought maybe we could discuss my dilemma man to man but apparently Andrew is far too cool to stand next to a white cat in a pink stroller because he took me outside and left me there all by myself. It was kind of cool because I had some sun beams in my stroller and I could feel the sea breeze but I really wanted to talk about this lack of meat problem I was going through. I called for Andrew but he just ignored me. By the time Mama got out of the store I had given up. I wasn't gonna talk to anyone. My lips were sealed. Andrew offered me a piece of turkey and I was gonna show him who was boss. I wasn't going to eat it. I made a big show out of it and even walked away from it for a second. But then I came to my senses and decided that I didn't want to eat it but I did want to lick it. Andrew only held it for me for a few seconds and then he threw in inside the stroller so then I had to eat it. I'm a neatnick you know. Couldn't have a piece of turkey just laying around in my stroller. A place for everything and everything in it's place I tell ya. On our walk back home I didn't feel very good so I had to complain a little bit. Mama thought I had to go potty so she hurried as best she could. When we got home I forgot that I had to go potty until Mama was all snuggled up on the couch. So I had to RUN to the potty and then I had to dig, dig, dig. There. All better. I got up on the couch so I could watch "Who's Line is it Anyway" with Mama and Andrew but then Mama started yelling, "Lorenzo, URGH! You have poop and sand all over your nads!" And then she grabbed me and took me in to the kitchen and you wouldn't believe what she tried to do! I wiggled and squirmed and tried to scratch her. Andrew came in and tried to hold me down, but I'm pretty squirrely when someone is doing THAT to me. Andrew finally let me go and then Mama came at me with a comb. She wanted to comb my nether regions. I. DON'T. THINK. SO. I tried to run but they caught me. Just for the record I do not like to have my "nads" combed. Mom told me that in the next few weeks I'm going to wish I had nads to be combed. What is she talking about? Are they going somewhere that I don't know about? Well, anyway, after the comb attack I was much cleaner and I layed on the couch for a while and then I snuggled in with the fam in the closet. Mama wouldn't leave us alone and kept flashing a light at us. I whispered to Ashleigh to grab a baby and make a run for it while I distracted them. It's so much more quiet in that back bedroom closet. Andrew caught Ashleigh with the baby and he made them both go back in to the front room closet. I hope we got our point across....if she would just leave us alone we might stay where she want us to stay.

This morning when I woke up I found that Andrew had closed Mama's bedroom door and I couldn't get in there to wake her up. If I'm not in there to roust her out of bed at 5:00 then she will never get up and I will never get fed. I cried at her door and I stuck my paws under the door, I scratched at the door and nothing worked. I walked away. Rejected. I finally pulled my "sure thing" out of my arsenal of trick. Cough-cough....HORK! I threw up right outside of Mama's door and wouldn't you know it...she was up and out of that room in 2 seconds flat. I am such a smart boy!

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Anonymous Tori said...

Renzo is teaching them sign language, DUH!

8:37 PM  
Anonymous Amanda said...

I don't know why but know that my mom uses the word "nads" is hilarious to me. Of course I'm at work and had a co-worker walk by ans ask what was so funny. "My mom said nads!"

7:49 AM  
Anonymous Mother said...

Lorenzo, I think you actually embarrased your Mom! She doesn't get embarassed very you must have really been making a lot of noise at Subway. You and Ashleigh have one of the sweetest mommies of all so you better try to learn some manners! Ask Mom what that is??!!

1:47 PM  

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