Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Greetings from Lorenzo

Hi Ladies, Dave here! I had a fantastic Thanksgiving weekend. The cook at this place finally got some decent food so I was able to fill mah belleh...I know how the wimmens like a big round belly.

Since it was a holiday I decided to get dressed up for my lady, Ashleigh. I put on my best, (only), shirt. I had some problems getting it buttoned because my bulging muscles are just getting so out of control. My valet buttoned all of my buttons but I told her that I looked like Opie from the "Andy Griffith Show".

In addition to the wimmens liking big round bellies I know that they also like to see hairy chests so I convinced the valet to undo some buttons and let me do the "Rico Suave" thang.

"Helloooo ladies...."

I think that Ashleigh has grown tired of my soul patch so I have been working on growing some mutton chops. There isn't a woman out there who doesn't love a guy with a hairy chest and mutton chops.

And since vampires have gotten so popular lately I decided to get myself a widow's peak. That should keep Ashleigh on her toes. There's gonna be wimmens knockin my door down when they get a load of this:

How can anyone resist me? I'm so charming that I can hardly stand myself!

I would like to take this opportunity to give you my Christmas list, shopping days are limited you know.
1. I would like for Elijah to move out or at least to stay under the coffee table for the rest of his life.
2. I would like for Ashleigh to keep her hiney inside the house. When she goes outside it breaks my heart and a I have to sing Hank Williams ditties all night long.
3. I would like a new blanket glued on to my hallway perch. When I take a flying jump to get up on it I usually slide right off the other side and then that woman who lives here calls me "Kramer".
4. I would like a couple of cases of Feline Greenies. All for me. None for anyone else. Unless Ashleigh wants some. She can have one. But only one.
5. I would like my very own bowl of Top Ramin. That woman that lives here will not share hers. She's just selfish.
6. Peace on earth and good will to all cats. (Just kidding about this one, but I do really want the bowl of Top Ramen.)
Ok, well, feel free to post my pictures on CraigsList so that I can make Ashleigh jealous by chatting with hot babes all day long....and if I don't see you in the mean time...



Anonymous katiejae said...

sexy sexy dave

4:08 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Really Long Last Name said...

Oh, how you woo us Dave...you are a world class woo-er.

6:18 PM  

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