Thursday, December 07, 2006

Musings from Lorenzo

Dear Nana & Auntie,
This is Lorenzo. I am the only one of us who can sit still long enough to write you a letter. As you may or may not know, Ashey is in rigorous training for the Idiot Olympics. I think she just might bring home the gold!

Last night Mama went to Big Lot’s and bought us CAT TOYS!!!!! She is the best mom ever. Mama had to sit on her knees in order to open the big box and we helped out by climbing on to her back. The main toy is really tall and stickery and we could CLIMB on it. It just kept getting better and better. When she took the stickery thing out of the long box we played and played in the box, but then we realized that mama needed help putting the stickery thing together so, again, we climbed on her back. She wasn’t on her knees this time so we really had to jump and climb up her legs and her pink sweater. I like to sit on her head and lick her hair, but every time I do Ashey thinks she has to be a copy catter and do it too and we both don’t fit on Mama’s head. When we were finished helping her with that she made us get off and we took that opportunity to get a good look that this stickery thing. Mama was working on pulling the sides of it down so we helped her by climbing onto it and chewing on the ends. Even though it didn't smell very good it was kind of tasty ‘cept when we got those little glass things in our mouth. Mama kept telling us that she didn’t need our help but that is just how we roll. We are nothing if not helpful. After the stickery thing was all put together it was really big and Mama kept picking us up and moving us away from it. That is the best game ever, but we didn’t really have time for games because we had to find out just how tall this stickery thing was. We think this thing is actually called a “GET A-WAY!” because that is what Mama kept calling it. We watched Mama put this thing-a-mabob, (tech talk, ya know) into the wall and when she did the “GET A-WAY” was all lit up, bright and shiney! It was amazing and beautiful. We had to climb right in there to see just how it worked. Ashey climbed real fast and she got way up to the top. I just sat on the floor because I had to keep guard. Mama grabbed Ashey by the neck and told her “GET A-WAY”. I think Mama thinks we are stupid because she kept telling us the name of the stickery thing over and over like we don't know how to listen or something. We know what it is by NOW. Go ahead, test us....
When Mama was taking Ashey off of the GET A-WAY I climbed up just a little and I jumped down when I saw Mama coming. Mama put my new bed in front of the GET A-WAY and I snuggled in so I could get a little rest before anything else happened. Mama thought she was going to take a picture of me in my new bed under the lit up GET A-WAY but I am much too fast for her. She takes so many pictures of us I'm sure our souls have disappeared.

Mama went in to the white room and opened a bag and took out MORE CAT TOYS! You would not believe the toys. 24 plastic balls with hooks on them. Ashey loves balls and she played hockey with them until the balls were all over the house. I had had enough rest so I played hockey with her for a while. Mama was doing something else with a bag on the couch and I decided right then and there that I missed mama and I had to sit on her lap immediately or I would simply perish. So I jumped on to her lap and there I saw hundreds, maybe thousands of toys. There was soft felt and ribbon and buttons as far as the eye could see. I dove right in there and came up with one in my mouth. I didn’t want Ashey to see what I had so I jumped off of Mama’s lap and I ran across the room with my ears back against my head. (I'm stealth like that!) Mama tried to pick up all the plastic balls and put them on the GET A-WAY. Ashey thought the idea of sky hockey was brilliant! How smart of Mama to hang the hockey balls on the GET A-WAY. Wasn’t that nice of Mama to put all the toys in one place so that we don’t have to go all over the house to find them? We climbed and chewed and batted on the GET A-WAY. We chewed and swatted all of the toys that we could reach. We climbed up as high as we could and then Mama made us get down. But then we came up with a better idea. If we climbed up on to her back then we could jump from her back to the GET A-WAY and get the toys that were way high up. We each did this as many times as we could and then we both got spanked. I pouted and Ashey tried to knock the GET A-WAY over but all that happened was a few of the cat toys fell off. Mama was only bleeding a little bit; it wasn’t like she needed that many stitches or anything. Sheesh, what a baby. Mama sat down for a couple of minutes so we followed her in to the white room. Ashey and I played in the big box and we got some long pieces of sticky paper stuck to our feet. Mama thought that was funny but it really wasn’t funny when the sticky stuff chased me around the room and wouldn’t stop. It even stuck to my face when I tried to chew it off of my foot. I thought I was a goner there for a minute, but I think I got the best of it. When Mama stopped laughing she started another fun adventure. We simply love it when she plays in our sandbox with us. The minute she goes near it Ashey and I both jump right in. Mama takes things out and we put things in. I like to kick sand in every direction and I like to dig, dig, and dig until I’m half way to China. Then I scratch the side of the sand box and the carpet. It is especially fun to do this when Mama is trying to take things out of the box. We have two sand boxes so I can play in one while Ashey plays in the other. We can make a much more efficient mess this way, and once again, this is just how we roll. We are a team. I like to jump out of the box and then jump right on to Mama’s head. It is sooo hi-larious when Mama gets sand in her hair! After Mama was finished playing in the sand box she went in to the kitchen and turned on the water . THAT. IS. MY. FAVORITE. THING. EVER!! “Will the fun never stop in this house tonight”, I wondered to myself. I jumped up on to the counter and ran over to the sink as fast as I could. Ashey was directly behind me. She doesn't like water as much as I do, so I told her to stand back. This is a boy thing. I stuck my head right in the water and then I shook it so that there was water alllll over the place. I let Mama dry me off with a towel and when she was done I went running toward that little room where the other water is because I was hoping she was going to point that warm blowy thing at me but I guess Mama was too busy because she never came down the hall. I went back in to the kitchen and I climbed up her back and sat on her shoulders with my front paws on her head. I have a view of EVERYTHING when I do that but then Ashey thought she had to do it too. Ha ha. Ashey had to just sit on Mama’s shoulder while I got to stay up top. Mama wasn’t playing in the water any more so I thought that maybe the fun for the night was over but boy was I wrong because you know what she did next?? That wonderful Mama made TOP RAMEN!!!!!! We love Top Ramen! Top Ramen…Top Ramen, we got to eat Top Ramen!!! Mama put it in a bowl and sat down on the couch..and.. I.. put my foot right in the bowl! Then I put my face in the bowl. I was just about doing the Top Ramen Hokey Pokey because each time I had put something in I had to shake it all about! Mama isn’t really good about sharing when the bowl is full but when she was finished she did let us lick the bowl. When we were done licking the bowl our faces were wet and our bellies were round. I lay down in my new bed again and thought I’d take a snooze, and Ashey thought she’d try to rearrange the cat toys on the GET A-WAY. Before Mama could get in to the room with Ashey there toys all over the floor. Mama made that face that she makes when she’s mad at us so Ashey thought she’d better help Mama before she got in to serious trouble so she climbed up her leg and sweater and supervised the goings on from up top of Mama's head. Just when I was sure there would be no more fun for the night Mama showed me that she had one more piece of fun up her sleeve before she called it quits. She got the VACUUM out! That makes two nights this week she got that big ol’ cat toy out of the closet. I think that is how Mama shows me that she loves me. Ashey went and hid under the couch but I think she does that on purpose because Mama thinks it’s so cute when she peeks out from underneath. Mama put that snakey thing in to the hole in the wall and the vacuum lit up and boy did we play!!! She chased me and I chased her. I sat right in front of her and pretended like I didn’t see her and then at the last second I would leap straight in to the air! I sat on mama’s foot and I purred. Oh the fun we did have. By then it was about 11:00 PM and I had to rest up for the nightly Idiot Olympics that start around 12:00 AM, so thankfully Mama went to bed. Ashey and I always go to bed with her because we don’t want to miss out on all the fun that is to be had when she puts on her pajamas. Her pajamas have a draw string on the front and we like to play with it until we make her pajamas come off. Mama also always goes in to that little room where the other water is every night before she goes to bed and we love to watch the water swirl around and disappear. That silly Mama is usually sitting in the way so we can’t see the water then we have to squeeze between her and the back of the seat so we can see what is going on. Anyway….we just wanted to let you know how much fun we had last night. Oh, and thank you, Nana for bringing over all of that stuff so Ashey and I could build forts. You’re the greatest!
Renzo & Ashey



Anonymous Sally said...

:-) The best yet! Keep it rolling! ***** Stars!

4:58 AM  
Anonymous Tori said...

Dear Renzo and Ashley,
Glad to hear you two are living LaVida Loca!
Be careful with that GET~A~WAY, theres no papa to run to if you knock it over completely!

8:12 AM  
Anonymous Mother said...

Thououghly enjoyed this one! After meeting the little darlings and watching them curled up together in their new bed, I have a hard time believing they can be so ornery.

Take care of your babies, my furry grandkittens....

10:23 PM  
Anonymous Kristy King said...

Tami, Hey you there...It's Kristy,,used to work with your Mom here at Utility. I love to read your stuff...just popped in today to read about catching the cat on fire...too damn funny!! I love to sit back, relax and read your stuff. Take care,,,i will return!

1:47 PM  

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