Monday, October 16, 2006

Weekend Musings.....

Friday night I was sitting at home minding my own business when it started to rain. In mere moments it went from a little bit of rain to an all out storm. There was thunder and lighting and then it sounded like someone was throwing rocks on to the roof of my mobile home. I couldn't believe the noise. As the minutes went by it got louder and louder until it got so loud that it scared Ashleigh and she had to go run and hide. Lorenzo, being deaf, didn't seem to mind it at all. Within 5 minutes the noise was deafening. I couldn't believe it. All I could think was, "Boy did I make a mistake when I bought a mobile home. I had no idea that rain on the roof of a mobile home would be so loud." Then I went to my bedroom to rescue Ashleigh and more noise. I thought that the rain had stopped so I went back into the living room. The noise was just as loud as ever. It was only in the "pop out" portion of my house. I have just had my ceiling tiles replaced and the insulation was removed and discarded. You just never know how much you need insulation until it's gone. Word up: appreciate your insulation! Don't wait until it's gone to realize what a terrific job it does just sitting there minding it's own pink and itchy beeswax, keeping you warm and muffling errant noise. Insulation rocks!

While I was waxing poetic about my lack of insulation I decided to call my sister so she could hear how loud the noise was inside my house. I actually had to shout on the phone to be heard over the rain. My sister also had to shout so that I could hear her. We got a good laugh out of my misery and then I realized that my roof was leaking. That was not so funny. I hastily hung up and ran to find a towel. Being a new home owner I don't have any old towels or rags so I had to use a brand new hand towel. This. Pained. Me. I bought 3 towels in sets and now I've ruined one of the face towels. The towel isn't actually ruined but I will never use it on my body again so now it's a rag and the set is ruined. Was it the face towel that matched the towel in which Muffin was buried? Of course not. So now I have destroyed 2 of my 3 new towel sets. I digress.

The rain was coming in right at the edge where the wall meets the ceiling. When I bought the house I was told that I had to do something to seal that area because it was a health hazard. No one explained to me that health hazard = rain coming inside. I had to see why it was only leaking in this one spot so I pushed my couch over to where the leak was, stood on the arm of the couch, and, with my arms over my head I attempted to lift the ceiling tile out of it's slot. Now, standing on the arm of a couch has never been a difficult task. As a matter of fact in my youth it was a fun and very easy task and I always thought that the arm of any couch, or chair, was a handy dandy step ladder. Now that I am well in to my 40's this is no longer the case. I don't have the Billie Goat gene that I apparently had in my youth. It is hard to keep my balance when I am wearing my clogs, so standing on the arm of a couch without falling head long in to a window is a real trial.

Once I felt like I was balanced and then lifted my hands over my head I realized that Ashleigh was climbing up my leg. I was wearing surgical scrubs which were very baggy and are made out of very thin cotton. This didn't slow her down one bit. Nor did she slow down when she managed to pull my pants completely down. She simply climbed up my bare leg until she reached her perch on my shoulder.

So here is the picture: It's raining cats and dogs outside and I'm in my living room, standing on the arm of my couch, my pants are down around my ankles, my bare legs are bleeding, I have a kitten on my shoulder, my arms are over my head trying to pry a ceiling tile out of it's slot and there is water pouring down the wall despite the fact that I have a brand new face towel wedged in to the far end of the ceiling tile which is where the leak is the strongest. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse....Lorenzo realized that he was missing out on the fun and he started to leap from the back of the couch on to my underwear clad butt. Lorenzo isn't quite the climber that his sister is so unfortunately for him he just bounced right off of my rear and then sat there and cried. All at once the absurdity of the moment struck me and I started to laugh. One more thing...did I neglect to mention that I don't have any curtains in my living room?

Ashleigh and I assessed the problem. All that was needed was something to block the water from splashing in underneath the roof/ceiling so I simply stuffed the area with a plastic bag. Now, I doubt that Bob Vila will ever be taking "Quick Fix" tips from me,.... but this seemed to do the trick. After the repair was in place I went to the bathroom to dress my bleeding wounds and I promised Lorenzo that the very next disaster requiring impromptu home repair he would get to be my assistant and Ashleigh would have to sit there and watch.

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