Thursday, March 22, 2007

My Fur Children: The Fashion Maven and the Interior Design Expert



In the last few months Ashleigh has been trying to get me to redecorate the house and I just have not been listening to her. She has taken it upon herself to do the footwork and the results have been remarkable. My living room and bedroom are so much brighter since she has torn down the curtains. I was not too sure I liked the look so I re-hung the curtains several times but Ashleigh prevailed. In an effort to make me realize that she takes her vocation very seriously she has gone to the trouble to actually break 4 curtain rods. I've managed to fix the 3 from the living room. I've even gone as far as moving the couch, chair, table and shredder away from the curtains. This has not posed a problem for Ashleigh. Lest we forget she's been in heavy training for the Idiot Olympics for the last 7 months and the "leaping high jump" is one of her specialties. She was lucky in that there was a trampoline (my bed) for her to bounce on in her attempt at getting the bedroom curtains down. It took a few tries but she finally got the curtain rod bent so badly that it broke. In half. Figuring that no one needs to see my naked body, with the missing body parts and all, I have chosen the temporary/quick fix of taping my curtains up. Packing tape works wonders. And boy is it pretty! There is just one little problem. The 1x1" tags that grace my bedroom curtains apparently mock Ashleigh and they need to be brought to justice. When she has managed to get the curtains down she claws and chews at the label like a mad woman. (Why don't I just cut them off? Good question.) In addition to pulling the curtains down and letting the sunshine in, Ashleigh has decided that my couch pillows look much better on the floor and my dirty socks look better displayed all over the house. I've even seen her drag one of my blouses in to the living room from the bedroom. Ashleigh likes a little splash of color here & there and socks randomly displayed about the room is an easy decorator tip.

Lorenzo isn't so much into interior design. No, he's much too busy with his wardrobe and his attempts at coloring his facial hair. His face is pure white and his eyes are crystal blue. His nose and his lips are the softest shade of pink. He is a beautiful baby faced boy. Lorenzo is not content to look like such an adolescent. Hey, he's 8 months old ya know. Before you can blink an eye he's going to be 9 months and then a year. His youth will be behind him. So in an attempt to hurry nature and appear to be more mature, suave and debonair he has now taken to coloring his facial hair with wet canned cat food. The results are magnificent. With just a couple of bites of food he can have his whole muzzle covered and if he really sets his mind to it he can get it to hang off of his 3 inch long eye brows. This trick easily adds months to his appearance and you'd honestly think he's at least 11 months old!
He is certain that he looks very debonair and he just loves to share his suavey-ness with one and all by wiping excess cat food from his whiskers on to anyone who is with in rubbing distance. "Share the wealth", is totally his motto.
In addition to adding class and distinction to his mug...Lorenzo has decided that he'd like to experiment in the fine art of accessorizing. The other night he was laying on a plastic bag and poked his head through the handle. Instant necklace. Then he slid his head a bit further and his necklace turned in to a hooded cape. He tried to model his cape on the cat walk but then when he decided that the cape was following him, STALKING him, he tried to run away from it. No matter how fast he ran he could not out run the cape, but an odd thing happened. The cape slid down and he got one foot/leg through the hole and his necklace/cape/hood became a toga. Lorenzo sat and very quietly modeled his toga for me. After a few minutes passed I realized that he really wasn't sitting and modeling with quiet class and dignity....he couldn't stand up with one leg in the bag hole and one leg out. I tried to remedy the situation by taking the bag off of him, but this was easily misinterpreted as me trying to murder him with a rusty pick axe. I got his second leg out of the hole but then the necklace/cape/hood/toga became a skirt. Since he IS a boy and he wasn't wearing any chonies I will say that it became a KILT. He was able to run around for many minutes, sashaying to and fro, teasing Ashleigh with his kilt. She tried many times to take it off of him but he just thought she was jealous and wouldn't let her near it. After a few laps around the living room Lorenzo decided that he wanted to show his mad modeling skills to his imaginary audience in the kitchen. This resulted in things getting knocked off of the counter. I was also afraid that he would get his kilt caught on something and get injured so I made another attempt at getting it off of him. Once again attempted murder was barely thwarted and Lorenzo got away. This time the necklace/cape/hood/toga/kilt became a legging. I knew that this would only cause Ashleigh to think she needed one too, and I didn't want anything to take time away from her interior design program so I wrangled Lorenzo to the floor and got the bag off of his foot. He's had to run around naked ever since. I expect a home visit from the ASPCA any day now.

Labels: ,

3 Comments:

Anonymous YHAS said...

Get out the video camera and start your own production company...you have two stars just waiting for their chance to be called upon to accept an Oscar!

7:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"See ya later decorator!"

7:26 AM  
Anonymous Sanjay said...

These are all nice picture A cats is very beautifull.

11:39 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home