Ashleigh would like to be Fawn Hall in her next life

Last night I came home to see that Ashleigh and Lorenzo had succeeded in knocking over the shredder and were EATING the paper like it was a delicacy. They were gobbling mouthfuls. They had shredded paper sticking out of their mouths and were looking at my as if to say, "Mama, you'd better get in here and have a bite before it's all gone!" I was able to shoo Lorenzo away from it but no matter how hard I shooed Ashleigh she just came running back and diving into the pile mouth first. I pulled as much of the paper out of her mouth as I could and then I cleaned it up as quickly as possible. I dumped the paper that was in the receptacle in to the trash can and then put the shredder back together.

I decided to give both of them some of the "relaxing" treats I found at Pet Smart. I've given them the suggested amount before but I swear it only wound Ashleigh up tighter than a drum. I gave them one more piece than the suggested amount and I'm happy to say that this time it worked. For Lorenzo. Not Ashleigh. It took a while to kick in but it was obvious when it took affect.

While I was getting the treats out of the cupboard Ashleigh managed to knock the shredder over and made a club house out of it. By the time I got my camera out Lorenzo had gotten in to the act.

After the fun wore off of the club house Lorenzo dozed off on the back of the couch. I actually clipped his nails.* It was kind of like arguing with a drunk. He didn’t want me to touch his nails but he didn't really put forth a big enough effort to keep me away from them. He kind of dozed off and that’s when I when in for the snip. I also combed him. He is shedding like mad so was able to extricate a lot of fur from his body. I'm sure he weighs a pound less now. I put the fur that I combed off of him inside of a pizza box that was sitting on my coffee table. I closed the box as tightly as it would close and then I left it there. The box wouldn't fit in the trash can and I figured that I'd just throw it away in the dumpster the next day when I got home from work. This morning I discovered the lid to the pizza box opened and all of the fur gone so I assume one of them ate it. They enjoy fur as much as they enjoy eating shredded paper. Why do I spend insane amounts of money on IAMS cat food, (which has recently been found to contain rat poisoning so I've had to switch to an even more expensive alternative), if they would be just as happy with fur and shredded paper? This goes hand in hand with the questions:
1. Why do I buy them cat toys when they would much rather play with a coke bottle lid or sea shells?
2. Why do I buy them a carpeted cat condo when they would rather sit inside of, or climb all over a tipped over trash can?

Will I never learn?

*Ashleigh's nails remain lethal weapons. Her nails are going to continue to grow until they are 3 feet long and then I'm going to have to paint them gold and enter her in the Guinness Book of World records. The current champ won't know what hit her!