Why does this stuff always happen to me?

This morning I got up and as I was ironing my clothes I heard Lorenzo and Elijah getting in to it. Their spats usually only last a matter of seconds because Elijah will run and hide under the toilet and then Lorenzo walks away flalshing his tail, feeling victorious. Well this morning the battle lasted a little longer and there was a lot more screaming so I stopped ironing my tee shirt and ran in to the hall way to try to stop them from killing each other. They were no longer in the hall so I stepped in to the bathroom just as Elijah was jetting out of it. Lorenzo was completely wound up in a clean bath towel on the sink counter BECAUSE….when they were fighting under the toilet one of them hit the flexie tube that leads from the faucet to the toilet tank and water was FLYING out of the tube by the gallon. It was spraying all over the bathroom. All of a sudden I was Lucy and Ethel all wrapped in to one. I had to squint my eyes and get under the toilet and turn the water off. I had to move my floor to ceiling towel rack to access the faucet so I put it behind me against the bathtub curtain rod. As I was easing myself down face in to the spraying stream of water Willow came in to investigate and the second his feet got wet he bolted out of the bathroom and managed to knock the towel rack over and it crashed down and hit me in the back of the head. So there I am in my freshly ironed linen pants that are now soaked to the skin, I have water completely dripping from my hair, I am cussing like a sailor, cats are running amok but I got the water turned off. I had to use all of my towels to clean up the pool of water and Lorenzo was completely put out when I made him unwrap himself from the last clean towel. Of course during this clean up time all 3 of the kittens were running around and they got wet. I dried them off as best I could, blew my hair semi dry and left for work in soaking wet pants. I have a knot on the back/side of my head that has been throbbing all day.

Events like this make me re-think my life as the resident crazy cat lady.
Oh, and now I have to try to find someone to replace the flexie tube on my toilet.
Mazeltov!