They should have run this by Martha Stewart first...

Last night I had dinner with my good friend, Yumi. For my birthday she took me out for sushi and then we had drinks at the Cheesecake Factory. It was a fun evening and I was in a wonderful mood when I got home. As I've explained before usually when I get home Lorenzo is sitting right in the doorway yowling his head off, demanding to be fed while he and his minions gather at my feet and try their best to trip me as I make my way to the kitchen. However when I walked in the door last night no one greeted me. I panicked. This phenomenon only happens when they've escaped. I dropped my purse and jacket on the floor and quickly turned on the light and much to my relief all four kitties were in the room waking up because of the light in their eyes. None of them got up and they were acting so lax that I was afraid they were all sick. I asked them what was up and of course Lorenzo was the first one to speak up and this is what I can remember of the conversation:

Me: "What's up with you guys? Are you sick?"

Lorenzo: "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrre tiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeedddddddddd."

Me: "Why are you so tiiiiiiirrrrrrreeeeeeeed?"

Lorenzo: "We were really busy today."

Me: "Ok, well wake up and stop whispering and tell me what you did that made you so tired?

Lorenzo: "YAWN. Ok...I'm awake now."

Me: "Good, so what's up?"

Lorenzo: "Well, Ashleigh had a terrific idea today and it took us a couple of hours to bring it to fruition."

Me: "Fruition?"

Lorenzo: "Yes. Fruition. I've been doing crossword puzzles with the boy. We are expanding our vocab."

Me: "What did you bring to fruition, pray tell?"

(Ashleigh enters the conversation)
Ashleigh: "You know how Willow is too little to be able to jump up to the counter in the bathroom and you know how Elijah tends to fall in to that gigantic water fountain when he's getting a drink?"

Me:"That 'water fountain' is a toilet.

Ashleigh: "Tomato/tomahto."

Me: "Ok, so where is this going?"

Ashleigh: "C'mon and look. I can't wait to show you what we've done!"


Ashleigh: "See, what I've done here is lay down a little bit of carpeting so that we don't have to put our feeties on the cold floor when we come in here to use the drinking fountain. Secondly, I've pulled this bridge down from the wall so that Willow can just hop up on it and walk straight over to the sink counter, and then voila...he can look out the window with the rest of us. But what I'm most excited about, and what took us the longest to accomplish is this:"


Ashleigh: YOU SEE WHAT I DID HERE? Now when Elijah is using the drinking fountain he can't fall in, but if he does then he won't bump his head because we put a towel in there. We really had to look through all of the towels before we found the newest most fluffiest towel. We figured that would give Elijah the most protection if he falls in again. IS THIS COOL OR WHAT?"

Me: "I know you worked really hard on this project but I'm sorry to say that I can see a few flaws in your finished product."

Lorenzo: "We knew you were going to say that. We had a discussion and we voted and it was decided that since this is where you like to sit...we'd scoot over and make room for you on the chair in the other room. We're sure there is enough room for everyone! And besides, we don't like it when you sit on our water fountain."

Me: "That is a very well thought out and generous plan but I just don't think it will work. Sorry you went to all this hard work."

Lorenzo: "Tsk, Oh Man!"

Ashleigh whispers to Lorenzo:"Go tell the kids ixnay on the indoway ojectpray..."