Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Conversation with Lorenzo prior to leaving for Europe

When I started to pack my bags for my trip to Europe I had the following conversation with Lorenzo:
Lorenzo: Hi Mo-there, what are you doing.
Me: I'm packing my suitcase for my trip to Europe.
Lorenzo: Me and Ashleigh and the babies are going with you, SEE VOO PLAY?
Me: Sorry, Buddy, you guys can't go because you don't have pass ports.
Lorenzo: But..but..I have worked so hard to learn zee fronch langweege. I sat through many episodes of "Ratatootie". Wee?
Me: You are such a smart boy and your "fronch" is stellar but if you don't have a passport you can't leave the country. I didn't make the rules but I do have to abide by them.
Lorenzo: But madam-mosley, Ashleigh and lay bebee's and I will miss you tray bee-in.
Me: And I'll miss you guys, too, but you still can't go.
Lorenzo: A-lay. Na dis cue pa too toe!!
Me: Have you been talking to Kathy Mac?
Lorenzo: Une, doo, twaa, CAT SANK!
Me: Sorry Napoleon, you can speak all the french you want but you still can't go.
Lorenzo: ES-Car GOT!
Me: Sacre bleu you silly American Kitty. I really wish I could take you with me but the fact remains that you don't have a passport and besides...they don't have litter boxes on the airplane and that's an 11 hour flight just to get there.
Lorenzo: (whosaysineedalitterbox?)
Me: What?
Lorenzo: Nothing. I say good day. I can't par less voose with you anymore. You make me too sad.
Me: sigh.
Lorenzo: If we don't go who is going to wake you up at 5:30 in the morning? You will spend zee whole day in zee bed.
Me: What a tragedy. I'm sure it will work itself out.
Lorenzo: AAALLLLL-A-WETTA JAUNTY ALLL-A-WETA
Me: Nice song. Where's your beret?
Lorenzo: FARRAH JOCKA, FARRAH JOCKA!
Me: Dor me' vous yourself. I need to finish packing.
Lorenzo: SANK HEAVEN FOR LEETEL GULS, FOR LEETEL GULS GEET BIGGAH EVERY DAY.
Me: Mr. Chevaliar, please move so I can put my things in my suitcase.
Lorenzo: I'm going to report you to Claudine Long-jay.
Me: Claudine Longet, the ex-wife of singer Andy Williams and purported murderer of ski-ing great Spider Sabitch?
Lorenzo: No, the pretty blonde french lady who is an animal rights activist..
Me: You mean Bridget Bardot?
Lorenzo: Yes, we're besties.
Me: Well, I think there is a better French "bestie" you could learn from.
Lorenzo: De Gal? Rain wah?
Me: Not quite..
Lorenzo: De-gas? Monette? MAnette? I have a way with paint, just ask Andrew.
Me: I was thinking of..
Lorenzo: John Luke Pickard?
Me: He's not even a real person!
Lorenzo: I'll bet he doesn't have a pass port either and it never stopped him from traveling.
Me: Well, Buddy, first space ship that comes this way and is heading for France...you're on it!
Lorenzo: Dang straight I am. Now who do you think I should be French besties with?
Me: I was thinking Marcel Marceau would be a wonderful person to emulate...
Lorenzo: You are so NOT funny.
Me: Yes I am.
Lorenzo: So funny that I forgot to laugh...
Me: Ok, enough of this madness, please get off of my suitcase so I can pack.
Lorenzo: Well, are you at LEAST going to bring us a souvenir?
Me: Ok, what do you want me to bring you from France?
Lorenzo: Tuna tar-tar, pomm-es- freets and a tumbler full of bordow.
Me: Um, sorry but I think the tuna will stink up the entire airplane and you don't even like french fries or red wine.
Lorenzo: Well, that's what I want.
Me: I'll see what I can do.
Lorenzo: See that you do it toot sweet!

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7 Comments:

Anonymous Amanda said...

Renzo’s French vernacular is c’est magnifique. Did he get his pommes frites, tuna tar tar and red wine?

12:08 PM  
Anonymous katiejae said...

when are you going to france ?? is it to late to request shot glasses ??

Katie Jae

7:14 PM  
Anonymous Mother said...

For someone that can't hear, Lorenzo does quite well with the French language...maybe that was where he was in another life??! The picture of him laying on you suitcase....give him credit...it was the best way he had to stop you from leaving!

11:51 AM  
Blogger Hazel Peepers said...

hahahaahaha
sorry renzo!
no matter how much you sweet talk your way she already went!!

11:21 PM  
Anonymous Tori said...

This is my favorite post so far! That picture of Renzo on the suitcase is so serious compaired to the wacky fun kitty he is!I always knew he spoke french, and spanish and IB I suspect as well!
Now we need to know...did you bring me that souvenir he asked for??

10:32 AM  
Blogger Tami W. said...

Katie;
I'm sorry, I made this post after I came back so I won't be able to get you a shot glass, but I will be returning to Europe probably after the first of the year and I'll get you one then.

Tori;
Renzo didn't get the tuna or the wine. But he did get a bath. I'm just mean.

10:44 AM  
Blogger Hazel Peepers said...

this is my fav post!
i go on every day just because in this post renzo 1. speaks french 2.can hear and 3.he speaks french!

12:55 AM  

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