Conversation with Lorenzo prior to leaving for Europe

When I started to pack my bags for my trip to Europe I had the following conversation with Lorenzo:
Lorenzo: Hi Mo-there, what are you doing.
Me: I'm packing my suitcase for my trip to Europe.
Lorenzo: Me and Ashleigh and the babies are going with you, SEE VOO PLAY?
Me: Sorry, Buddy, you guys can't go because you don't have pass ports.
Lorenzo: But..but..I have worked so hard to learn zee fronch langweege. I sat through many episodes of "Ratatootie". Wee?
Me: You are such a smart boy and your "fronch" is stellar but if you don't have a passport you can't leave the country. I didn't make the rules but I do have to abide by them.
Lorenzo: But madam-mosley, Ashleigh and lay bebee's and I will miss you tray bee-in.
Me: And I'll miss you guys, too, but you still can't go.
Lorenzo: A-lay. Na dis cue pa too toe!!
Me: Have you been talking to Kathy Mac?
Lorenzo: Une, doo, twaa, CAT SANK!
Me: Sorry Napoleon, you can speak all the french you want but you still can't go.
Lorenzo: ES-Car GOT!
Me: Sacre bleu you silly American Kitty. I really wish I could take you with me but the fact remains that you don't have a passport and besides...they don't have litter boxes on the airplane and that's an 11 hour flight just to get there.
Lorenzo: (whosaysineedalitterbox?)
Me: What?
Lorenzo: Nothing. I say good day. I can't par less voose with you anymore. You make me too sad.
Me: sigh.
Lorenzo: If we don't go who is going to wake you up at 5:30 in the morning? You will spend zee whole day in zee bed.
Me: What a tragedy. I'm sure it will work itself out.
Lorenzo: AAALLLLL-A-WETTA JAUNTY ALLL-A-WETA
Me: Nice song. Where's your beret?
Lorenzo: FARRAH JOCKA, FARRAH JOCKA!
Me: Dor me' vous yourself. I need to finish packing.
Lorenzo: SANK HEAVEN FOR LEETEL GULS, FOR LEETEL GULS GEET BIGGAH EVERY DAY.
Me: Mr. Chevaliar, please move so I can put my things in my suitcase.
Lorenzo: I'm going to report you to Claudine Long-jay.
Me: Claudine Longet, the ex-wife of singer Andy Williams and purported murderer of ski-ing great Spider Sabitch?
Lorenzo: No, the pretty blonde french lady who is an animal rights activist..
Me: You mean Bridget Bardot?
Lorenzo: Yes, we're besties.
Me: Well, I think there is a better French "bestie" you could learn from.
Lorenzo: De Gal? Rain wah?
Me: Not quite..
Lorenzo: De-gas? Monette? MAnette? I have a way with paint, just ask Andrew.
Me: I was thinking of..
Lorenzo: John Luke Pickard?
Me: He's not even a real person!
Lorenzo: I'll bet he doesn't have a pass port either and it never stopped him from traveling.
Me: Well, Buddy, first space ship that comes this way and is heading for France...you're on it!
Lorenzo: Dang straight I am. Now who do you think I should be French besties with?
Me: I was thinking Marcel Marceau would be a wonderful person to emulate...
Lorenzo: You are so NOT funny.
Me: Yes I am.
Lorenzo: So funny that I forgot to laugh...
Me: Ok, enough of this madness, please get off of my suitcase so I can pack.
Lorenzo: Well, are you at LEAST going to bring us a souvenir?
Me: Ok, what do you want me to bring you from France?
Lorenzo: Tuna tar-tar, pomm-es- freets and a tumbler full of bordow.
Me: Um, sorry but I think the tuna will stink up the entire airplane and you don't even like french fries or red wine.
Lorenzo: Well, that's what I want.
Me: I'll see what I can do.
Lorenzo: See that you do it toot sweet!