Monday, November 19, 2007

Conversation I had with Elijah this morning

There was really no formal introduction of Elijah to my faithful blog reader. When Ashleigh had kittens last June I was able to find homes for all of them except for the runt of the litter. He was the one who was so sick that he was in the kitty hospital when I came home from Europe. I couldn't bear to part with him because I just knew that no one would love him and take care of him like I could. So...now that you know who Elijah is ...here is a conversation I had with him this morning...(This entry might be a little crass, HI MOTHER, but I can only write what I hear...and this is what he said to me..)


Elijah: Grand-mama'?


Me: Yes, dear?


Elijah: You've been gone an awful lot this last week or so.


Me: Yes, baby, I have. I apologize and I will try to make it up to you. But, lest anyone get the wrong idea....Andrew was here to feed you and keep you company wasn't he?


Elijah: Well, he was here some of the time and yes we did have food. Did I show you how Daddy taught me that I don't have to eat my crunchy food out of the bowl because he tore a nice big hole in the bottom of the bag? We can just stick our paw in the hole and pull out gobs and gobs of food and eat what we want and then leave the rest on the floor for later.


Me: Yes, I see where your Daddy has been quite the teacher. He's a very clever guy. Why can't you just eat the food out of the bowl?


Elijah: That's not fun.

Me: Well, I'm glad you found something to do to keep yourself amused while I was away.

Elijah: But I hate it when you aren't here. Mom is too busy with the new babies so I didn't have anyone to talk to except for Dave.


Me: Oh, Dave was here? I'm sorry I missed him. What did he have to say?


Elijah: Well, he was a little pissed off that you weren't home. He wanted to talk to you.

Me: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Elijah: "He was pissed off." What do you think I said?


Me: Elijah, please don't talk that way. It's very unbecoming to a beautiful little boy like you.


Elijah: Well, I think Dave is cool. He taught me a lot of new words and other cool things. Listen to this "fu...."


Me: AACK! NEVERMIND. Please, please....don't talk that way in front of me. I don't want people to think poorly of you and that is one sure fire way to make everyone think that you are a nasty little boy. There are always better words you can use instead of naughty words.


Elijah: Grandmama...you don't understand. You were gone all week and week end. Andrew was here and he fed us but the litter box is such a mess that your entire house should be condemned. I can't stand to walk near it let alone go potty in it. Dave talked to me and taught me better ways to deal with those kinds of problems.


Me: I know Sweetheart, but I cleaned out your box Saturday before I left and I used all of the kitty litter. I will get more litter on the way home and I will make your box spic and span for you and Mom and Dad. I'm sorry Andrew can't be bothered to take care of the litter box, but I will fix it as soon as I come home tonight.


Elijah: Well, all of this talk of "piss" has me thinking....I gotta go.


Me: PLEASE don't talk that way... I will talk to you when I get home tonigh....ELIJAH!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STOPPPPPPP! DON'T PEE ON MY BED! OH MY GOD, ELIJAH, STOP! AT LEAST GET OFF OF MY DOWN COMFORTER!


Elijah: Uh, a little privacy please.

Me: ELIJAH!!!!

Elijah: I'll be a good boy and cover it up now that I'm done.

Me: STOP! YOU ARE FLINGING PEE ALL OVER MY BED!!! OH MAN, NOT MY PILLOW! STOOOOOP.

Elijah: I feel much better, now what were you saying?

Me: I can't believe you just did that...

Elijah: Well, Grandmama', you know what Dave says....

Me: I. Don't. Care. What. Dave. Says. Look at this mess...it's everywhere. You even got it on the curtains....

Elijah: Then I'm not going to tell you what Dave says.

Me: WhatdoesDavesay!?

Elijah: "It's better to be pissed off than to be pissed on."

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Wednesday, November 14, 2007

11 days old


Elijorenzo



We just opened our eyes and we do not like the brightness!



I have orange stripes on my head just like my mommy did when she was an infant.



Our "Brady Bunch" pose...


Ashleigh watches very closely as Andrew plays tickle belly with the grey and orange baby....


Tickle belly...tickle belly....but you know what happens when a baby gets too excited playing tickle belly.....

Andrew got wee'd on.


Well, duh, what did he expect?

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Thursday, November 08, 2007

The Kitten Relocation Program Resumes

Tuesday night when I went to bed Lorenzo, Elijah and Ashleigh all accompanied me. Ashleigh loves to look out of my bedroom windows and since my door had been closed all day and all evening I figured I'd let her take a look around and then I'd get up and make her get out so I could close the bedroom door. I don't usually sleep with the door closed but Ashleigh seems to think that my bedroom is the perfect nursery for her children so I have to keep the door closed in order to keep all of them out.

I was in bed sleeping up a storm when I was awaken by the sounds of tiny little mews coming from a tiny little kitten. I looked at the clock and saw that it was 3:00 AM. I got out of bed and saw Ashleigh sitting on the bedroom floor like she was just hanging out. She was all but saying, "Nothing to see here...move along...I'm not doing anything but sitting here , innocently...". She purposefully looked in another direction and wouldn't look at me even when I spoke to her.

As much as I didn't want to ...I turned on the bedroom light and got down on the floor and attempted to look for the kitten who was sure to be under my bed. I pulled out my few Christmas decorations that I keep under there and yet I still couldn't see any kitten(s). My eye sight is not stellar in the first place and I had just woken up mere moments before so I just blamed the lack of kittens on that idea that I simply couldn't see them. I went in to the living room and turned on another light so that I could see if any kittens were left in the box in the closet where they were supposed to be.

There was only 1 kitten remaining in the box so I picked it up and brought it in to the bedroom with me and gave it to Ashleigh. I figured that she would put it under the bed with the others and then Andrew and I could fish them out in the morning. I just didn't want the one remaining kitten to sit there in the box, all alone, and freeze.

When my alarm went off at 5:30 I hit the snooze alarm a few times so that when I finally got up it was light outside. I turned all of the bedroom lights on and got down on the floor and looked under my bed and I still didn't see any kittens or Ashleigh. I called for Ashleigh and instead of Ashleigh showing up all of a sudden Elijah and Lorenzo had jumped on to my back. Elijah made himself cozy while Lorenzo proceeded to lick and chew on my hair. Apparently I was not holding my head still enough for this early morning cat shampoo because he felt the need to steady my head with his claws. As I fussed with these two knuckle heads all of a sudden I was face to face with Ashleigh. But...oddly enough ALL I could see of Ashleigh was her face. It took me a second to realize that she wasn't actually under the bed....she was peering at me from up inside of my box springs.

I swear that cat is a regular Harriet Tubman, (a guide and founder of the Underground Railroad that helped slaves escape from their captors.) There was a hole in the netting on the underside of the box springs that the previous litter of kittens had ripped open. They were old enough to jump and play when I caught them in there and I was able to pull them out by their tails. Ashleigh had managed to make the hole bigger and climb in to it and ferret the babies in to the furthest corner of the bed.

I managed to get Lorenzo and Elijah off of me and I went and woke up Andrew and told him about the kitty dilemma. He uttered a string of nasty names at Ashleigh and I told him that I'd help him get them out when I got home from work.

Andrew was able to take care of the situation all by himself but he had to cut a hole in to the top of the box springs. There was no way he could fit under the bed and he was afraid that if he tipped the box springs up in order to get under it the babies would tumble and who knows what they would hit or where they would land.

So all's well that ends well......NOT.

This morning when I woke up I could once again hear the tiny cries of an infant kitten. I was perplexed because I personally picked Ashleigh up and escorted her out of my room and shut the door before I went to bed last night. (Mere moments after closing her out of the bedroom last night she managed to sneak a kitten right past Andrew and bring it down the hall and deposit it in front of my door. I hollered for Andrew and he came and got both of them and put them back in to the living room closet.) So when I woke up to the sounds of crying kittens I figured that Ashleigh had brought the whole gang to my door and was waiting for me to open the door so she could swoop in there and deposit them back under the box springs. I opened my bedroom door very carefully and there sat Ashleigh, Lorenzo and Elijah....and one kitten was peeking out from underneath the hall closet door. The hall closet door that was closed. I couldn't help but imagine Lorenzo and Elijah were sitting there in awe, applauding Ashleigh for being able to somehow get that kitten under the door. The clearing between the bottom of the door and the carpet is less than 1/2 of an inch.

On my way home tonight I will stop by Albertsons and see if I can find a bigger box that will fit over the box she's in now. Apparently she doesn't have enough privacy and darkness to make her happy. Short of building her her own bedroom...I don't know what else I can do. Suggestions?

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Monday, November 05, 2007

Unearthed treasure!

Well, maybe not a treasure but I just found a post that I started to write and then for some reason I never finished it.....

If both of my readers have any interest in reading it ...go to the archives and click on March 2007. It is entitled "Long lost post".

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Friday, November 02, 2007

A quick note from Ashleigh

I'm sorry that I haven't contributed to the blog in such a long time but I've been very busy. I don't know if you heard or not but I just had a gala opening at a local art house. Please follow the links below to see some of my most recent pieces:

(There were links here that lead to a photo gallery of pictures of the screens that Ashleigh has shredded and escaped through. Unfortuately the photo gallery only saves pictures for a few weeks and then discards them. Sorry.)

I have a few works that didn't make it in to the gallery...there were 7 in all. I have managed to get through each and every one of those holes and have been able to spend many nights on the town. Due to those nights of fun and frolic I was forced to settle down and revealed my latest effort:



There was 4 of them but one of them didn't make it through the first night sadly enough. Of the 3 left, one looks just like his uncle daddy, Lorenzo and the other two look just like me.

Here are a couple of close up shots:



My eldest son, Elijah, who hasn't really been introduced to all of you out there in blogdom, hasn't really paid any attention to his new siblings however Uncle Daddy was with me through out my delivery just like he was last time. He's such a peach.

Now that I'm not around to fight with apparently the boys are really bonding more than ever. Here is a picture of the two of them:

In case you can't figure it out...Elijah is sound asleep with his head between Lorenzo's hind legs. They slept like that for some time so I guess they were comfortable.

I have to go...a mother's work is NEVER done.

Love,
Ashleigh


HEY, WAIT A MINUTE...I HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING...
THIS UNCLE DADDY BUSINESS IS EXHAUSTING!!!

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Do you see a little boy in this picture?

Many weeks ago when Tori and I went up to the International Man of Mystery's cabin I took this picture. A few days ago I found it and I wondered why I even took this picture. Hannah is sleeping on the couch...big deal. Then I looked closer at the picture. That blue lump on the orange blanket is Jake. He was sleeping in a manner that you couldn't even see him. He just looked like a wad of blankets. I'm glad Tori knew where he was or I would have been running through the house thinking he'd been kidnapped by a coyote!

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