Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Still At TJ Maxx


Still at TJ Max....

Hannah and I had tried on several outfits but none of them fit. The clothes I picked for Hannah were all size 7 or 8 and they were all too big. The clothes I picked for me were all size 5 or 6 and they were all too big. I had one pair of capris in size 4 and they fit like leotards.

I took Paul out of the dressing room area and took his picture near the shoe display. There were a bunch of people from Germany hanging out near the shoes and I found myself wondering if they thought that all of us crazy Americans took pictures of clothes that we had no intention of buying? After I took the pictures of Paul I told him to go put on another outfit so we could see how handsome he looked. He informed me that he was finished trying on clothes and it was time to go back to the hotel. I tried to talk him into trying on at least one more outfit and he would have none of it. He was finished. The end. There will be no more changing of the clothes. As a matter of fact he wanted me to purchase the outfit he was wearing because he didn't want to be bothered with taking it off! I reminded him that he knew the rules of playing department store dress up...the number one rule being WE ARE NOT GOING TO BUY ANYTHING.

After telling Paul that we were absolutely not going to buy anything I found a sterling silver ring and purchased it. Dichotomy, thy name is Tami.

We drove around Encinitas and Leucadia and then went back to the Motel so Paul could go swimming. Once we got back to said Motel we were informed that they didn't have a pool. I thought Paul was going to jump over the counter and throttle the motel clerk. I told him that I was really sorry but I had been told that this motel had a pool and obviously I had been misinformed. (TORI!) I thought that we could go to the beach but then realized that the only towels we had were the teeny weeny white hotel style towels and that would never work. So we stayed inside for a couple of hours and then we went to go find something to eat. I asked the kids which restaurant was right next door to us, was it Carls Jr. or Burger King? They both agreed that it was Burger King and I thought, cool, I can get a veggie burger there. But when we got outside Burger King turned out to be Carls Jr. I told the kids that I didn't want anything from Carls Jr. I thought it would be fun to walk around and see what was available to us but then somehow Paul got it into his head that I had promised him that we'd eat dinner at Jack In The Box. I told him that I would never have said such a thing because I hate Jack in the Box. He got into a pouty snit and wouldn't walk with me and Hannah. We passed some no name Mexican drive through and we passed a KFC/Taco Bell. I remembered that there was a Subway down on Pacific Coast Highway right in the middle of a small yet very busy shopping center. We arrived there about 2 seconds after they locked their doors. We walked around the shops to see if there was any other place where we could eat. We found a sushi restaurant that grossed the kids out to the core of their very being, and we found the restaurant that has the huge dining patio with the live music. Paul was inspired to bust a move and was really mad when I said we had to find food. "You know how I like to dance don't you?", Paul said. (I have been his date at several school dances and you couldn't pay him to dance, so, yes, I know how he likes to dance.) In an effort to show me what a dancing kinda guy he was he proceeded to pretty much dance all the way back up to the Carls Jr/Green Burrito. I never knew he was such a funky guy!

We wound up eating dinner at Carls Jr. and then went back to the motel to play more Scattergories and watch more cartoons.

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006

The saga continues


10:00 AM. In all the years of Paul's life I have never heard of him sleeping so late. I actually checked on him several times to assure myself that he was still breathing. I know that Hannah could sleep until the cows come home so I didn't bother her until I realized what time it was. I was going to let Paul sleep due to the events of the previous evening but then I realized that the longer I let him sleep the later he'd want to stay up so I woke him up and told him to get into the shower. He asked me to start the shower for him but I convinced him that he could do it himself. Once he got the shower started he cracked the door open and asked me to get him his clean clothes. Who ever did the packing for was obviously in a huge hurry because in addition to not packing Hannah's pajamas they neglected to pack underwear for Paul. So I gave him a pair of board shorts and a tee shirt. I figured I let Paul decide if he wanted to go commando or if we had a trip to Kmart in our immediate future. Hannah and I watched "The Ron Clark Story" while Paul romped in the shower. There is no one who gets more "YAHOO" time in the shower than Paul, except for the occasional otter and with that I'm sure the otter doesn't leave as big of a mess on the bathroom floor.

Hannah had to wait to change her clothes until Paul got out of the bathroom. (Modesty; thy name is Hannah Grace Pendell.) After everyone was dressed we started the teeth brushing parade. We each had our very own toothbrush and tube of toothpaste however we were forced to share my girly deodorant as someone forgot to pack that, too. Once we were all clear of the threat of under arm wetness we were off to embrace the day.

Right outside of the motel was a Denny's and a Carl's Jr./Green Burrito. Paul wanted to eat breakfast at Carl's Jr. and was truly not at all interested in eating the specialty breakfast that you can only get at Henessey's; Captain Crunch french toast. I was almost relieved that he didn't want to eat that because I was afraid he would injure his already sore tooth. It took a lot of talking to convince him that we could eat breakfast at Carl's Jr. any day of the week and that it would be more special to eat at Henessey's.

It only took a couple of minutes to drive there and we were able to park right in front of the restaurant. Paul chose to eat outside on the patio. Not because it was a beautiful day outside and the sun was shining and the birds were singing, but because he could see the car from where he was sitting. Little did I know that this would be the highlight of his breakfast experience. He read the breakfast menu from top to bottom and decided that he wanted a mushroom omelet and potatoes and lemonade. Hannah ordered the Captain Crunch french toast and I had oatmeal. (yeah, way to live large and go beyond the norm...) There were not very many people at the restaurant so our food came out rather quickly. Paul was quick to notice that his toast didn't arrive with his food and asked for it 3 times in about 20 seconds. The waitress must have thought he was having gluten withdrawals. Once the coveted toast arrived Paul put jelly on all 4 pieces and made jelly sandwiches. He ate all of his toast and all of his potatoes and 1, I counted 1, bite of his omelet. He said he wanted to take it with him but I convinced him that eggs are not a "to go" item especially when you do not have a cooling device nor a heating device in your hotel room.

I'd like to say that Hannah did better on her breakfast however out of the 4 slices of french toast she ate 1, I counted 1, and only 1. And as a matter of fact Paul even had a bite of the one consumed piece of toast. I knew when they were ordering that they probably wouldn't eat all of the food they ordered but I had figured that they would at least make a try to finish half of it. Foolish me.

After we ate Paul announced, "Well, BACK to the hotel!" I asked him why he wanted to go back to the motel and he said that he had to go to the bathroom. I reminded him that he had just, not 3 minutes ago, used the bathroom at the restaurant and he told me that he had to go again. So we went back to the motel. He had the card key in his pocket and he went bounding up the stairs. I told him that I would be right in but I was going to walk to the gas station, which was less than 100 yards away from our room, to get a news paper so I could see what time the movies were playing. He insisted that I had to walk to the room with him so I did. It only took Hannah and I a couple of minutes to get the newspaper and get back up to our door. Paul was still in the bathroom and he had the card key with him. I feared we were going to be stuck on the 2nd floor balcony of the Carlsbad Motel 6 for hours but luckily we only had to wait for about 10 minutes. I really feel like we dodged a bullet there!

We hung out in the room for a little over an hour and then headed off to find a Long's or Sav-On where we could buy movie goodies for less than $5.00 a piece. In the distance Paul saw a sign for a Henry's grocery store. We stopped in there and Paul went right to the soda aisle. They didn't have the exact one he wanted so he asked a store employee if they had what he was looking for. The woman explained that she was a cashier and she didn't know what type of soda they stocked. A lame excuse, I thought. Paul, Hannah and I looked in everyone of the refrigerated cases but to no avail. He settled for the soda that was nearest the one he wanted and then we walked past the prepackaged candy isle. Paul found the licorice shelf and thought he had gone to hog heaven. He insisted that we get a $4.00 package of grape licorice. I told him that he shouldn't be attempting to eat licorice on his infected tooth. Everyone in the store got to listen to Paul explain that his mom said that he could eat whatever he wanted as long as he chewed only on his good side. I reminded him that his mom wasn't with us and I said he could not have the grape licorice. He planted his feet firmly on the ground and insisted that he was not leaving until I bought him the licorice. I advised him to write when he got work and then Hannah and I went to the bulk candy aisle. Hannah picked out gummy worms which I thought were quite appropriate considering the movie we were about to see. I got Paul some chocolate covered raisins and I got a piece of dark chocolate honey comb. Hannah and I walked over to the cash register and Paul was still having a fit over the licorice. Once he realized he was not getting licorice he decided that he wanted some of the soup that they keep prepared in a black cauldron in the front of the store. I tried to quietly explain that you are pushing your luck when you try to sneak a bottle of soda and your own candy into the movies...it would be almost impossible to sneak a bowl of soup in with us. This concept just didn't compute with him. He wanted soup and licorice and he was not going to the movies without them. I proceeded to pay for the candy and his soda and once again advised Paul to write when he got work and proceeded to go outside. I can only imagine that the people in the store thought that I was a total raging bitch to this poor handicapped man/child, but little do they know that if I had tried to reason with him he would have only thrown a bigger fit that would have taken hours to get over and it just wouldn't have been fun for anyone. As I walked outside I could only hope that Paul was coming along behind me. It would sure suck to make a dramatic exit and then have to go back to the scene of the crime to pick up the perpetrator.

I had given Paul the choice of which movie he wanted to see between, "Barnyard", "!!MATERIAL GIRLS!!! or "howtoeatfriedworms". His pick was "Snakes on a Plane". I reminded him that that was not one of the offered choices but that didn't matter. Well there is no way I was going to watch that movie even if my Keanu was staring in it. I gave Paul his three choices again and of course he wanted to see "How to Eat Fried Worms." I was beginning to think that the snake movie would be better...at least I haven't heard that anyone was going to be consuming any of the slithering airplane stow-aways. When we got to the theater Paul decided that he wanted to see "Barnyard" and it must have been my and Hannah's collective sigh of relief that brought him back to his senses and he remembered that he wanted to see the worm movie.

Paul is the perfect movie watcher. He laughs exactly when the movie dictates and he laughs long and he laughs hard. No matter that no one else is laughing.... if the movie does something the least bit humorous you are going to get a laugh out of Paul and God forbid there is slapstick involved because he just can't get enough of that. I gave Paul his soda and his chocolate covered raisins then I went to the snack bar to get Hannah and I soda and popcorn. Much to my amazement, NOT, Paul was completely finished with his snacks by the time I got back from the snack bar and was trying to talk Hannah out of hers. All I could think was that last night all he had to eat was pancakes and that caused him to hurl...what would tonight be like after Paul had partaken of this junk food orgy?

The movie was as gross as the title suggested. I really didn't see any social redeeming qualities, break out actors or award winning stunts. The only thing of merit was the one girl in the movie was the adorable little girl with the masses of curly hair who used to do the Pepsi commercials. Haley something. (yeah, she made a big impression on me.)

The instant the movie was over Paul announced, "Well, BACK to the hotel!" I told him that we didn't need to rush back to the motel...we were on vacation...we needed to walk around and see what there was to see. We were right next to a TJ Max so I asked him and Hannah if they wanted to play dress up. Hannah is always up for department store dress up and I was very surprised to hear Paul say he wanted to play, too. I picked out about 40 pieces of clothing for me to go through and then I wrangled Paul in to going into the men's department. I put several outfits together for him and then we went to the little girls department to find something for Hannah. Well...apparently if you are a size 7 and you shop at TJ Max you'd better be a fan of denim because that was all they had. So I put 6 outfits together for Hannah and then went through my stack to narrow it down to a more manageable number. Paul was off and wandering through the toy section and he came back with a huge Sponge Bob bouncing ball. He wanted the ball to play with when we went to the beach or the pool. I told him that we were not buying any balls, we were there to play dress up and that was all.

We went to the dressing rooms and there was no way in God's green earth that they would allow Paul to share the big handicapped room with me and Hannah. I didn't want to humiliate Paul by explaining that ya just never know what Paul was going to do or who he was going to talk to...I was in fear that he would go in to the dressing rooms and attempt to lead everyone in the place in a round of Matchgame '77 and wind up getting his ass whipped. So I told Paul to take his outfits and go put them on and walk out to the middle between the mens dressing rooms and the womans dressing rooms and don't talk to anyone. Before I could even try on one item of clothing I hear Paul chatting up the dressing room monitor. I was astonished at how quickly he'd been able to change his clothes and then I thought, jeez, he could be standing out there in his chonies, so I finished putting my shirt on and went out to check on him. I am happy to say that Paul was not standing around in his chonies, but he was not in his new outfit either. He had tried on a new shirt but not the pants or the jacket. I asked him where the rest of the outfit was and he said he only wanted to try on the one shirt. I told him that he needed to go back into the dressing room and put the pants and jacket on, too and then let me see how he looked. As anyone could have guessed it only took him 1 minute to change his pants and throw the jacket on. I came out to find him looking like someone who had never worn a jacket in his life. It actually looked like the jacket was attacking him! (Hannah hasn't completely changed in to one new outfit yet.) I pulled Pauls shirt sleeve out of his jacket and pushed the jacket sleeves up his forearms then I folded the long sleeves of the shirt up a couple of turns and then pushed them up to the jacket sleeve. I pulled his shirt collar out of the wad that was inside the jacket and centered the jacket on his huge shoulders. I tucked the shirt in and took care of Paul's terminal case of "Lou Syndrome" and took a step back. Paul was a very handsome figure in Tommy Hilfiger denim painters pants, a long sleeved, pink, Ralph Lauren oxford shirt and a white linen blazer. The dressing room monitor told him how nice he looked and then it was on. The poor dressing room monitor never knew that the blabber mouth had been unleashed and she started it! I wanted to take a picture of Paul but I wanted to see how Hannah was doing first so I told him to stay there and I'd be right back. In the next few minutes everyone on either side of the dressing rooms knew what the dressing room monitor's name was, how long she'd been working at TJ Max, why she was working at TJ Max and then all about Paul's school history and his current gig at Project Team.

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The saga continues

10:00 AM. In all the years of Paul's life I have never heard of him sleeping so late. I actually checked on him several times to assure myself that he was still breathing. I know that Hannah could sleep until the cows come home so I didn't bother her until I realized what time it was. I was going to let Paul sleep due to the events of the previous evening but then I realized that the longer I let him sleep the later he'd want to stay up so I woke him up and told him to get into the shower. He asked me to start the shower for him but I convinced him that he could do it himself. Once he got the shower started he cracked the door open and asked me to get him his clean clothes. Who ever did the packing for was obviously in a huge hurry because in addition to not packing Hannah's pajamas they neglected to pack underwear for Paul. So I gave him a pair of board shorts and a tee shirt. I figured I let Paul decide if he wanted to go commando or if we had a trip to Kmart in our immediate future. Hannah and I watched "The Ron Clark Story" while Paul romped in the shower. There is no one who gets more "YAHOO" time in the shower than Paul, except for the occasional otter and with that I'm sure the otter doesn't leave as big of a mess on the bathroom floor.

Hannah had to wait to change her clothes until Paul got out of the bathroom. (Modesty; thy name is Hannah Grace Pendell.) After everyone was dressed we started the teeth brushing parade. We each had our very own toothbrush and tube of toothpaste however we were forced to share my girly deodorant as someone forgot to pack that, too. Once we were all clear of the threat of under arm wetness we were off to embrace the day.

Right outside of the motel was a Denny's and a Carl's Jr./Green Burrito. Paul wanted to eat breakfast at Carl's Jr. and was truly not at all interested in eating the specialty breakfast that you can only get at Henessey's; Captain Crunch french toast. I was almost relieved that he didn't want to eat that because I was afraid he would injure his already sore tooth. It took a lot of talking to convince him that we could eat breakfast at Carl's Jr. any day of the week and that it would be more special to eat at Henessey's.

It only took a couple of minutes to get there and we were able to park right in front of the restaurant. Paul chose to eat outside on the patio. Not because it was a beautiful day outside and the sun was shining and the birds were singing, but because he could see the car from where he was sitting. Little did I know that this would be the highlight of his breakfast experience. He read the breakfast menu from top to bottom and decided that he wanted a mushroom omelet and potatoes and lemonade. Hannah ordered the Captain Crunch french toast and I had oatmeal. (yeah, way to live large and go beyond the norm...) There were not very many people at the restaurant so our food came out rather quickly. Paul was quick to notice that his toast didn't arrive with his food and asked for it 3 times in about 20 seconds. The waitress must have thought he was having gluten withdrawals. Once the coveted toast arrived Paul put jelly on all 4 pieces and made jelly sandwiches. He ate all of his toast and all of his potatoes and 1, I counted 1, bite of his omelet. He said he wanted to take it with him but I convinced him that eggs are not a "to go" item especially when you do not have a cooling device nor a heating device in your hotel room.

I'd like to say that Hannah did better on her breakfast however out of the 4 slices of french toast she ate 1, I counted 1, and only 1. And as a matter of fact Paul even had a bite of the one consumed piece of toast. I knew when they were ordering that they probably wouldn't eat all of the food they ordered but I had figured that they would at least make a try to finish half of it. Foolish me.

After we ate Paul announced, "Well, BACK to the hotel!" I asked him why he wanted to go back to the motel and he said that he had to go to the bathroom. I reminded him that he had just, not 3 minutes ago, used the bathroom at the restaurant and he told me that he had to go again. So we went back to the motel. He had the card key in his pocket and he went bounding up the stairs. I told him that I would be right in but I was going to walk to the gas station, which was less than 100 yards away from our room, to get a news paper so I could see what time the movies were playing. He insisted that I had to walk to the room with him so I did. It only took Hannah and I a couple of minutes to get the newspaper and get back up to our door. Paul was still in the bathroom and he had the card key with him. I feared we were going to be stuck on the 2nd floor balcony of the Carlsbad Motel 6 for hours but luckily we only had to wait for about 10 minutes. I really feel like we dodged a bullet there!

We hung out in the room for a little over an hour and then headed off to find a Long's or Sav-On where we could buy movie goodies for less than $5.00 a piece. In the distance Paul saw a sign for a Henry's grocery store. We stopped in there and Paul went right to the soda aisle. They didn't have the exact one he wanted so he asked a store employee if they had what he was looking for. The woman explained that she was a cashier and she didn't know what type of soda they stocked. A lame excuse, I thought. Paul, Hannah and I looked in everyone of the refrigerated cases but to no avail. He settled for the soda that was nearest the one he wanted and then we walked past the prepackaged candy isle. Paul found the licorice shelf and thought he had gone to hog heaven. He insisted that we get a $4.00 package of grape licorice. I told him that he shouldn't be attempting to eat licorice on his infected tooth. Everyone in the store got to listen to Paul explain that his mom said that he could eat whatever he wanted as long as he chewed only on his good side. I reminded him that his mom wasn't with us and I said he could not have the grape licorice. He planted his feet firmly on the ground and insisted that he was not leaving until I bought him the licorice. I advised him to write when he got work and then Hannah and I went to the bulk candy aisle. Hannah picked out gummy worms which I thought were quite appropriate considering the movie we were about to see. I got Paul some chocolate covered raisins and I got a piece of dark chocolate honey comb. Hannah and I walked over to the cash register and Paul was still having a fit over the licorice. Once he realized he was not getting licorice he decided that he wanted some of the soup that they keep prepared in a black cauldron in the front of the store. I tried to quietly explain that you are pushing your luck when you try to sneak a bottle of soda and your own candy into the movies...it would be almost impossible to sneak a bowl of soup in with us. This concept just didn't compute with him. He wanted soup and licorice and he was not going to the movies without them. I proceeded to pay for the candy and his soda and once again advised Paul to write when he got work and proceeded to go outside. I can only imagine that the people in the store thought that I was a total raging bitch to this poor handicapped man/child, but little do they know that if I had tried to reason with him he would have only thrown a bigger fit that would have taken hours to get over and it just wouldn't have been fun for anyone. As I walked outside I could only hope that Paul was coming along behind me. It would sure suck to make a dramatic exit and then have to go back to the scene of the crime to pick up the perpetrator.

I had given Paul the choice of which movie he wanted to see between, "Barnyard", "!!MATERIAL GIRLS!!! or "howtoeatfriedworms". His pick was "Snakes on a Plane". I reminded him that that was not one of the offered choices but that didn't matter. Well there is no way I was going to watch that movie even if my Keanu was staring in it. I gave Paul his three choices again and of course he wanted to see "How to Eat Fried Worms." I was beginning to think that the snake movie would be better...at least I haven't heard that anyone was going to be consuming any of the slithering airplane stow-aways. When we got to the theater Paul decided that he wanted to see "Barnyard" and it must have been my and Hannah's collective sigh of relief that brought him back to his senses and he remembered that he wanted to see the worm movie.

Paul is the perfect movie watcher. He laughs exactly when the movie dictates and he laughs long and he laughs hard. No matter that no one else is laughing.... if the movie does something the least bit humorous you are going to get a laugh out of Paul and God forbid there is slapstick involved because he just can't get enough of that. I gave Paul his soda and his chocolate covered raisins then I went to the snack bar to get Hannah and I soda and popcorn. Much to my amazement, NOT, Paul was completely finished with his snacks by the time I got back from the snack bar and was trying to talk Hannah out of hers. All I could think was that last night all he had to eat was pancakes and that caused him to hurl...what would tonight be like after Paul had partaken of this junk food orgy?

The movie was as gross as the title suggested. I really didn't see any social redeeming qualities, break out actors or award winning stunts. The only thing of merit was the one girl in the movie was the adorable little girl with the masses of curly hair who used to do the Pepsi commercials. Haley something. (yeah, she made a big impression on me.)

The instant the movie was over Paul announced, "Well, BACK to the hotel!" I told him that we didn't need to rush back to the motel...we were on vacation...we needed to walk around and see what there was to see. We were right next to a TJ Max so I asked him and Hannah if they wanted to play dress up. Hannah is always up for department store dress up and I was very surprised to hear Paul say he wanted to play, too. I picked out about 40 pieces of clothing for me to go through and then I wrangled Paul in to going into the men's department. I put several outfits together for him and then we went to the little girls department to find something for Hannah. Well...apparently if you are a size 7 and you shop at TJ Max you'd better be a fan of denim because that was all they had. So I put 6 outfits together for Hannah and then went through my stack to narrow it down to a more manageable number. Paul was off and wandering through the toy section and he came back with a huge Sponge Bob bouncing ball. He wanted the ball to play with when we went to the beach or the pool. I told him that we were not buying any balls, we were there to play dress up and that was all.

We went to the dressing rooms and there was no way in God's green earth that they would allow Paul to share the big handicapped room with me and Hannah. I didn't want to humiliate Paul by explaining that ya just never know what Paul was going to do or who he was going to talk to...I was in fear that he would go in to the dressing rooms and attempt to lead everyone in the place in a round of Matchgame '77 and wind up getting his ass whipped. So I told Paul to take his outfits and go put them on and walk out to the middle between the men's dressing rooms and the woman's dressing rooms and don't talk to anyone. Before I could even try on one item of clothing I hear Paul chatting up the dressing room monitor. I was astonished at how quickly he'd been able to change his clothes and then I thought, jeez, he could be standing out there in his chonies, so I finished putting my shirt on and went out to check on him. I am happy to say that Paul was not standing around in his chonies, but he was not in his new outfit either. He had tried on a new shirt but not the pants or the jacket. I asked him where the rest of the outfit was and he said he only wanted to try on the one shirt. I told him that he needed to go back into the dressing room and put the pants and jacket on, too and then let me see how he looked. As anyone could have guessed it only took him 1 minute to change his pants and throw the jacket on. I came out to find him looking like someone who had never worn a jacket in his life. It actually looked like the jacket was attacking him! (Hannah hasn't completely changed in to one new outfit yet.) I pulled Paul's shirt sleeve out of his jacket and pushed the jacket sleeves up his forearms then I folded the long sleeves of the shirt up a couple of turns and then pushed them up to the jacket sleeve. I pulled his shirt collar out of the wad that was inside the jacket and centered the jacket on his huge shoulders. I tucked the shirt in and took care of Paul's terminal case of "Lou Syndrome" and took a step back. Paul was a very handsome figure in Tommy Hilfiger denim painters pants, a long sleeved, pink, Ralph Lauren oxford shirt and a white linen blazer. The dressing room monitor told him how nice he looked and then it was on. The poor dressing room monitor never knew that the blabber mouth had been unleashed and she started i! I wanted to take a picture of Paul but I wanted to see how Hannah was doing first so I told him to stay there and I'd be right back. In the next few minutes everyone on either side of the dressing rooms knew what the dressing room monitor's name was, how long she'd been working at TJ Max, why she was working at TJ Max and then all about Paul's school history and his current gig at Project Team.

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Monday, August 28, 2006

My weekend with Paul and Hannah



Tori was nice enough to bring Hannah and Paul out to my house so that I didn't have to go all the way to Riverside to pick them up. Since it was 6:00 by the time I got home we would both have had to sit in traffic if we hit the road so we decided to walk up town and have dinner and wait for the traffic to die down.

On our way to town we walked past Beth and Marty's apartment. They were out front loading their car so we went over to say hello. They were on their way to the beach for a bonfire dinner and to attend their debut of grunion hunting. They invited us to go with them but Tori had to pick up someone from the airport and me and the kids had a hotel in Carlsbad waiting for us so we had to pass.

We bid adieu to the Sacksteders and continued on our journey. There are probably 50 places to eat on Main Street in Huntington Beach and we wound up at IHOP. Ah, the adventure! Tori and I shared pancakes, Hannah had french toast, Paul had the smiley face pancake and Andrew had eggs and potatoes. There were only 2 other parties in the restaurant but it took us over 25 minutes to get our food. I mentioned that I thought that they were probably chasing that smiley face pancake all over the back parking lot. Tori thought that maybe they had lost the recipe for pancakes. Andrew figured that our waiter's accent was so thick that even the julios working in the kitchen couldn't understand him and they were all in the back taking an "English as a second language" course. The delay in getting served didn't set well with Jakey. As anyone knows 2 year old's are not known for their patience, especially when they are hungry. He managed to escape out of his high chair, (which was not especially difficult since the latch on the strap was gone.), and thought that he might enjoy sitting in a booth all by himself. His first few attempts at securing his own booth were met with scowls and threats of the loss of his pancakes so he came back to his high chair. Once he realized that apparently NO ONE was going to get pancakes he didn't care what threat he was given. As a matter of fact he thought he might step it up a notch and go running through the, basically empty, restaurant. Tori told him that if he didn't get back into the high chair she was going to take him outside and have a talk with him. Well that sounded better to him than sitting in a high chair so then he WANTED to go outside. Tori tried to convince him that she meant that her hand was going to have a talk with his fanny and yet that made no difference to him. So she took him outside but from the smug look on his face upon their re-entry to the restaurant I could tell that his fanny was safe and sound inside those Huggies.

When our food finally arrived we all dug in. It actually took us longer to get our food than it did to eat it. Everything tasted fine and everyone cleaned their plates.

As we walked back to my house we passed a beauty parlor that had mardi gras beads hanging on the door knob. Andrew got a silver one and a green one and gave them to Hannah and Paul. (I'm sure no one will be surprised to learn that it was Paul who wore his beads throughout the entire weekend.)

When we got back to my house Tori put Jake in her car and then started to say good bye to the kids. While she was talking to Hannah, Paul had his head inside the truck and he was telling Jake, "You be a good boy for mama and don't touch anything in my room, ok?" In order to fully understand the humor in this you'd have to know that Jake and Paul share a bedroom. Jake showed how much he was listening by taking off his shirt and putting on a life jacket that was in the back seat of the truck. Tori was telling Paul good bye when I tattled on the quick change artist. Jake was told that they were going to get to go swimming at Aunties house and by golly that was what he was going to do. So what if it was less than 70 degrees and dark outside? I left Tori with Jake and walked with Hannah, Paul and Andrew to my house. The kids put all of their stuff in the car while Andrew was showing me the route of PCH down to Carlsbad. I knew that it went way inland at some point but I wasn't sure if it would be worth it to try to follow it and thus I decided to just jump on the 5 and take the quickest way. PCH is much prettier but after dark you can't see the ocean anyway.

We were off like a herd of turtles by about 8:00. Paul and Hannah both talking at once and both expecting me to respond to what they were saying. By the time we got on the 405 Paul decided that he was sleepy and was going to take a nap so he reclined his seat which made him pretty much laying in Hannah's lap. I told Hannah to switch sides and sit behind me but there was no way she was going to unbuckle her seat belt and risk life and limb by changing seats while the car was moving. It was much easier to complain to the very tired Paul.

From the 405 we made it to the 5...I think we were in Aliso Viejo when Paul sat up and made a moaning grunt sound. I asked him what was wrong thinking that his infected tooth was hurting him. Silly me. He said, "I'm going to throw up!" I asked him if he could hold out until I could get the car over to the right side of the road and much to my chagrin he mumbled, "No." In one fell swoop I rolled both of our windows down and went from the fast lane to the slow lane but it was too late. The poor guy was horking his guts out the window. By the time an exit came up and I got off the freeway he told me that he was done and he was feeling much better. Hannah was in the back seat having a small heart attack. "We need to call Mommy. Aren't you going to call Mommy. We need to take Paul home." Paul had a counter argument for everything she was saying and he was begging me not to call his mom. We took a nice tour of Aliso Viejo before I could actually find a gas station. We all got out of the car and I was afraid to look at what might be stuck to the passenger side of my car. While I was observing the damage Paul was off talking to the resident vato rent-a-cop telling him how nice he looked in his uniform. Hannah was having a nervous break down because apparently she does not fare well when barf is involved.

I bought Paul a Sprite and I actually had to make him drink it. He took approximately 3 sips and declared that he was feeling fine and we didn't need to postpone our trip any longer and we certainly didn't need to call his mother. Contrary to Paul's sage advice I called Tori to let her know what was happening. She talked to him and then told me that if he said he felt better then he was probably fine. She guessed that maybe he had eaten too much. I was afraid that it was a reaction of his meds. He was taking an antibiotic and vicodin for his infected tooth. Earlier I had been marveling at the fact that he could actually take vicodin when his mother, his aunt and his grandma were all unable to take it. The last thing I wanted was to be far away from home with a handicapped man/child who had an infected tooth, who was in pain and throwing up because of the meds he needed to take but I sallied forth.

We made it to the Carlsbad Motel 6 just before 9:00. When we were in the office Paul had to compliment a biker/cowboy on his nice hat. Thankfully the cowpoke was amenable to the compliment. When it was our turn I asked if they took Visa and Paul had to interject, "Do you take American Express?" I told him to never mind, I had it under control but he insisted on being briefed of their American Express policy. I told him to pipe down, I didn't even have an American Express so I didn't need to know if they accepted it or not. His pitiful argument apparently moved the hotel clerk because she kindly explained that they did, indeed, take American Express. I asked him if was going to use his American Express card to pay our bill and he told me, "Never mind."

We put our stuff in our room and in no time Paul had the TV on and was sprawled across the bed. Tori advised me to give Paul his vicodin within the "every 6 hour range" and not to wait until it started hurting because then it would be too late. The pain kicks in and then Paul is inconsolable. Since he had just emptied his stomach I needed to find him something easily digestible to eat before I gave him his meds. Fortunately there was an Albertsons right across the boulevard from the motel. We had to walk down a block to a cross walk and in the two minutes it took to get there Hannah had come up with 50 reasons why she missed Mommy, AND she was cold. I thought Hannah was a tad mature to be so home sick especially since we'd only been gone for a couple of hours and she really wanted to go on this vacation.

I had thought that a banana or a muffin would be good for Paul to eat, so of course the bananas were completely green and there wasn't a muffin to be seen in the entire store. We settled on a yogurt and a Hostess apple pie. Maybe not the best choice but it was better than the Slim-Jim or the Oscar Meyer "Lunchable" that he had his heart set on.

We got back to the hotel and Hannah's "I miss Mommy" dissertation resumed. She asked if she could call her mom and I gave her the phone. Before I know it Hannah is in hysterical tears saying that she missed Tori too much and she wanted her to come and pick her up. Tori told Hannah that I looked just like her so she should just put her pajamas on and sit in my lap and relax. Before she hung up Hannah told Tori that since we only had one bed she was going to have to sleep on the floor. Tori talked to Paul and convinced him that "camping out" on the floor would be much more fun than sleeping in a bed and that it would probably be much better for his tooth in the long run. (How awful are we that we lie to a handicapped person?)

When everyone had spoken to Tori and we had all gathered our wits we decided to play a round or 8 of Scattergories. Scattergories is a game that can be played by people of just about any age or ability as long as they know how to read their own writing or have a scribe. Paul loves this game and in addition to playing it, it goes without saying that he is our game show host. I have always loved to play games with Tori's kids and I think I can prove that when I show you a pencil drawn picture of french fries that Andrew drew during a game of Pictionary when he was barely 3 years old. More often than not their savant intelligence will floor me and we heap praise upon them but try not to dwell on it so that they don't think they are a gaggle of smarty pants. Then every once in a while one of them will come up with an answer that is soo off the wall that I can't help but wonder about their thought process. This particular game was dictated by the letter B. The question was "Something in this room". Hannah came up with "Big belly, Paul's", and then demanded that since she used two B words that she be granted the requisite 2 points. Paul told her that her answer was not nice but as he was the moderator he granted her the 2 points.

I decided that the game was over when I looked at my watch and saw that it was past midnight. Paul put on his pajamas and made his bed on the floor. Hannah discovered that she had forgotten to pack pajamas and decided to sleep in her clean shorts and a tee shirt. I gave her my robe to wear and I attempted to go to sleep. I dozed for a minute or two until Hannah told me that she couldn't sleep. I told her to shut her eyes and at least get some rest, read her National Geographic or watch TV. She decided that crying was her best bet and that kept her occupied for the next 5 minutes. Paul had the TV turned up so loud that people in Leucadia knew what was happening on the Cartoon Network. Apparently Paul can't watch TV in the dim light or stale air because he had turned on all of the lights and had the air conditioner blasting. Being the killjoy that I am I told him to turn the volume on the TV down, turn the out put on the a/c down and turn off all of the lights. He was asleep in mere moments but Hannah could not sleep. I asked her if she was trying to get me to take her home and even though she said no I know if I had said to pack up she would have been the first one to the car.

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Friday, August 25, 2006

My weekend plans

I have been promising my autistic nephew that I'd take him away for a weekend of fun before school starts. I made reservations at a ritzy place, (and don't think for a minute that it's actually a very affordable Motel 6, because it's not!) in Carlsbad, Ca. We are supposed to go to the beach and maybe to Lego Land or the zoo or Sea World. I wanted to take him to Hennessey's so he could try the Captain Crunch french toast with strawberries.

He woke up yesterday with an abscessed tooth. Now he's on antibiotics and vicodin. No matter that he is writhing in pain, he wants to go away for the weekend. Have you ever tried to reason with someone who is autistic? My sister and I always refer to this old adage when a situation like this comes up: "Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig". Let's see what the weekend brings, shall we?

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